je m'en fous

Winter

4.27.19

JLv

I don't want to be just friends.
I want you in my life.
For me, I'm way past wanting to be just friends with you. And, I don't want to pressure or overwhelm you. But, I am in love with you. And, you asking me these questions. If we're better off as just friends, scares me. I'm scared that one day, you wake up and no longer want me in your life. That, you get fed up wanting to try more. Feel more than I can give.

You had me fall in love with you, but, I can't see myself being just friends with you again. I am greedy. I want you all to myself. I want to swim and get there, learn more and understand just to be with you.

I want you to choose me. I want to be the first thing that pops in your head in the mornings when you wake up. The last thing in your mind when you sleep. Or, just in between the day thinking of how I am, if I'm thinking of you too. Call me greedy, or selfish. I want you.

And it hurts, when we're like this. It feels like, I'm the only one chasing. I'm the only one missing you. That, I've been tricked into falling, trusting someone will stop that fall and catch me. But, when I'm already in a position of no return, I'm faced flat on the floor.