I've alway loved him . I've loved him for a while now , and I'm sure il alway want him . But as much I need him like he's my own personal life line , if I went away I'd like to believe he'd be bothered in some way. Even if it's just the thought that he's long time friend has suddenly disappeared ; after that thought vanishes I'm no longer a thought but a distant,vacant ,lost , useless memory stored far away at the back of his mind but the thing is I know he won't even have a mere thought about me if I went missing . So the idea of running away is there but it be inconsequential ,I don't like to think about it but in reality I'm insignificant to him . Unrequited love is nothing but a daily endeavour for me , and it hurts because just when I believe I can obtain the will to cut my one sided feelings away and move on . He always finds a away to creep back into my heart , no matter how many walls I've built he continuously walks through them . Arriving at my hearts door without a single mark on him leaving ,behind eradicated paths he allows himself inside my heart as if he were returning home once again . How I dream that I'll be able to call his heart a home of my own . Unattainable I know simply futile but , I can't help but love him his smile , his laughter , his touch even if it's just a brush sends electric shocks pulsing through my body . Sure he apologises and can brush it off but he's unaware that his touch leaves my skins burning . Craving for his touch to be purposeful for once he creates a hunger that can not be satisfied with a simple taste . Though I have to restrict myself to enjoy these nonexistent tastes so some day when I am truly at peace with my hunger , I can savour this Taste like it's the very last time . So I'm going to try, no what I mean is I will suppress these feelings and move on . Surely I must be capable of doing a least that much , I'll keep my distance even though my whole body is aching for his presence. I'll be fine , or so I believe I will be .
