I posted this on my AO3 account, But I think you guys would like it too.
Written while Listening too: Lonely by Christina Perri
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Thinking back on it now; He could have done something. Anything. Not have just stood there, a Horrid look on his face like he did. That thought Haunted him. Left sleep no longer an Option, Among other things such as Eating.
I could have done something..
The death of their leader effected everyone in their own way. Just because Karkat creased to exist didn’t mean the War did. But the Soldiers that once we’re giving all they had, we’re starting to crack with each death. Only with Karkats’ did John break. He’d lost so much, Losing his Former ‘Mate-Sprit’ was just the stone to finally shatter the glass. The glass of a Young, 16 year old, Once innocent and full of dreams, John Egbert. Not even Dave was able to calm his friend down. No one was able to. No one even understand his and Karkat’s Relationship. Somehow John had been able to get past that Strong-Well built wall of Karkats. He was able to calm him down, even a simple smile from John could make Karkats’ heart skip a beat. Although he didn’t show it much.
It had been about a Week. And here the Bright Blue eyed boy was, In the middle of his room. His glasses had been tossed across the room, Shattered from when he had thrown them at the Wall a few days before. His Dark blue Shirt, along with Cargo shorts were stand with dirt and.. Deep Red blood. A shade that he would never forget. His cheeks were puffy, Eyes Aching from the lack of sleep and large amount of Salty Tears. Red rimmed his eyes, along with Dark bags under his eyes. His mouth was dry, body cold.. Numb. To put it simply, He had been to hell and had yet to return. Still reliving that one moment over.. And over..
John wasn’t one to talk when crying, or make noise for that fact. He always tried to hide it, Making everyone Happy had always been his goal. Then himself. But he couldn’t.. just couldn’t find the strength to give a damn about what the others were going threw. So once again, He sat in the middle of his room. Torn up paper, Photos, Shattered Glass, all on the floor surrounding him. Walls Dented. Karkat would be screaming at him, surely turning Purple if he saw the mess, No, Disaster in his room. Pacing back and forth as he rambled on and on about Nothing, yet, Everything. The only thing John had said, Since, was; “I could have done something..”
He was Broken.
Shattered like Glass.
Letting go and letting the Lonely in.
To afraid to go outside.
For the pain of one more Loveless Night.
For the Loneliness will stay with me, And Hold me until I fall asleep.
Im the ghost of a boy That I want to be most.
Im the shell of a boy that I used to know.
Dancing slowly in a empty room.
Can the Lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Letting go.. And let the Lonely in..
