You Saved Me ➵ Camren

8.

*TW* Self harm in detail. Please don't read if you'll be triggered. <3

After the sudden panic attack earlier that day, Camila was exhausted. She didn't want to do anything, it wasn't a good day for her at all. She just felt so low and there was nothing she could do. Lauren had tried to get her to eat something else after she woke up, but the younger girl refused. She couldn't be bothered to eat anything else. She decided she needed to shower and so did Lauren, so both girls went to their own apartments to shower.

Camila walked into her bathroom and turned on the shower, she liked her showers hot, she felt like she never got clean in a cold shower. She stripped out of her clothes and played some music through her shower speaker that her sister had gotten her years ago. She stepped into the shower and felt the water, so that it wouldn't burn her. Once she was in she got her shampoo, Strawberries & Cream scented, and scrubbed her hair while she hummed to the music. The younger girl loved taking hot showers, it was so relaxing, especially when she had her favorite music playing. After she was done washing her hair, she washed her body and turned the water off. Camila carefully stepped out of the shower, trying not to slip on the tile floor, and dried off. She slipped on some underwear, a pair of black leggings, and a bright yellow hoodie. Another thing about Camila is that she hated bras, she would do anything to not have to wear one. It wasn't like she really needed one anyways, so she tended to stick with baggy shirts and hoodies. The brown eyed girl washed her face then went to sit and watch tv for a little bit.

Meanwhile at Lauren's apartment, the girl was in a freezing cold shower. That was the only way she could take a shower. Unlike Camila, Lauren couldn't listen to music while in the shower, she was scared something would happen and she wouldn't be able to hear it. She scrubbed her thick hair with a Vanilla shampoo, her favorite scent, and washed her body with a vanilla bean body scrub. She rinsed off and stepped out of the shower, drying off quickly because of how cold she got. She put on underwear, some white shorts, and a cropped black shirt. After getting dressed she decided to watch a couple episodes of Game Of Thrones to pass the time.

Camila had watched a couple of episodes of The Office and slowly lost interest, her mind shifting to other thoughts. She thought about how it was just her in her apartment. She thought about how she could do anything she wanted. She could give in to the urges she'd had after her panic attack. Everything in her wanted to give in. Her thoughts were screaming at her, driving her crazy, until she decided..She would do something. She knows she shouldn't and she knows she'll feel bad later, but she has to do it. You have to do it. You know it'll make you feel better. Just do it. You'll feel so much better. Camila ran to her bathroom, locking the door behind her, before searching her bag for her razor. She knew this was a bad idea, but she couldn't stop. She needed to feel. She needed this. The younger girl sat against the door and started bringing the razor up to her arm. She had almost made a cut, when she stopped. If she was going to do it, she couldn't do it where Lauren would see. She nodded her head, agreeing with her thoughts. Good idea. She pulled her leggings down and moved the razor to her thigh, pressing the cold metal against the delicate skin. She drew in a breath, closed her eyes, and dragged the blade, hard and fast against her skin. Again, and again, and again, until she cut over 10 times. It stung badly, worse than it normally did, so she looked down. The brown eyed girl saw blood running off of her leg at an alarming rate. She had cut too deep. No way was she going to get stitches, she couldn't tell anyone. Camila grabbed a wad of toilet paper and held it over the cuts, finding bandaids to cover the wounds in. Once she found the bandaids, she removed the toilet paper, getting a better look at the damage. The cuts were bleeding less, but still a good bit. She shrugged it off, hoping it would stop soon, and covered her thigh in bandaids. She pulled her leggings up and cleaned up the bathroom before making her way back to the living room.