farewell (18+)

20. Coping

It had been months since I'd seen Max. He said he would visit as soon as possible, but that was taking longer than my heart could take. I was optimistic though, now that I at least knew where we stood. We could do that, be friends with benefits and live far away... It was doable.

Who was I kidding? I wanted more, so much more. I wanted him all the time and all to myself. I was so proud of his intellect, his resilience, his character. I wanted to call him mine and watch jealousy light up the eyes of his admirers. Whenever I saw or heard something interesting, my first thought was "I gotta tell this to Max". So, naturally, the first thing I did after playing with Pretty Noose was to call him.

"How was the show, love?" he asked.

"It was amazing! I mean, as good as it could be, given how long it had been since I last played. But it was great! They even got a manager!"

He chuckled at my excited ramble. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you... I know this was just to get them off the hook, but playing with those guys made me feel so alive... And, in the end, I wasn't as rusty as I thought. We sounded great together."

"That's amazing... You're amazing, Anna."

I went silent, feeling light-headed from such a compliment. "Can I see you?"

"Yeah, anytime you want, love."

"No, I mean... In-person. When are you coming to visit?"

He sighed. "I'm so sorry. I promise we'll be together as soon as I can, okay? It's just taking longer than I anticipated."

"I could go to see you."

"I can't let you be the one always traveling."

"It's okay. I have money."

"You're a college student." He sounded amused. "How can you have the money to come to England all the time?"

I hesitated because I knew this conversation was about to turn a gloom corner. "My father's inheritance."

"Oh... Your father died?"

"Yes. A few years ago. I was finishing high school."

"Oh, my God, Anna. I'm so sorry... Was he a good father?"

"The best. He was the one who got me, you know?" I brushed away a tear. "But it's okay. I already dealt with it."

"You sure you don't wanna talk about it? I'm a good listener."

"I know you are... But I'm not a good talker." I forced a laugh. "But what about you? Any news lately?"

"Eh... Nothing much. Just busy with school... Oh! I saw my brother yesterday."

"Which brother?"

"The one I like."

"So Charlie."

"Yeah, my little shark. Of course, he's not as little anymore. Sixteen, and he's almost taller than me."

"Wow. Are you having a big brother crisis?"

"Big time." He laughed. "But yeah, it was good to see him. Like I said, we're not exactly close-knit anymore, but it felt good to get in touch."

"That's so sweet, Max."

"Yeah..."

"What's wrong?"

"He asked if I wanted to come over for dinner."

"That's great!"

"Not really. This is just my mom trying to fix the family. She'd done that plenty before. Trust me. It did not work."