Stars Of Our Lives

D'aja Vu

This time, I got the story from Steve.

After I dropped, he said everything went silent. Krel had somehow managed to get one of his gloves off and shot down the armed man and Kubritz, while Steve used his own abilities to lift the cuff keys out of their pockets to get free. So they all just sat there for several beats of terrible quiet.

He said they never checked to see if Kubritz had survived Krel's lightning.

Krel was the first one to touch me, even though he had bruises all the way up his arms. He pulled me into his lap and tried shaking me awake, telling me that the two of us had to go. When Steve tried to approach, Krel held me protectively against his chest.

Steve said Krel told him I wasn't a monster. That I wasn't dangerous. Even after everything they had just witnessed.

He said that's when Eli started freaking out. Going on and on about how he knew we were hiding something - shouting to Steve that they needed to leave before any more trolls showed up. But just like he had five years ago, Steve had refused to leave until he'd helped Krel carry me to the car.

He said he was having deja vu over it for the rest of the night.

The first thing I knew when I came back up to the surface was that my head hurt. It was the usual, clamping, agonizing migraine. But just the last of it. That was my first clue to how long I'd been out.

The sunlight streaming through the van windows was the second clue.

The side door had been left wide open, a light breeze blowing over me. Above the static in my brain, I heard the soft chords of Billy Joel's Piano Man playing from the radio.

Then I remembered.

And I wished I could curl up and disappear.

I'd killed her. I hadn't even thought about it, and I'd killed her. I'd reached into her mind and I'd puppeteered her death. Apparently it was instinct for me.

"We need to talk about this," Eli's voice sounded from outside. "We need to talk about what we're gonna do with her."

"I don't wanna do this right now," Steve's voice replied. He sounded irritated.

"Too bad," Eli snapped. "You, once again, did not listen to me and who almost got killed because of it? Tell me who, Steve."

"I get it, Eli. Okay? I do. But what am I supposed to do? Just dump her here?"

Yes, that's exactly what you should do. You should dump me here and never look back.

"Why not?" Eli asked. "It's not like it matters."

"Of course it matters!"

"Okay, you are getting way to sentimental about this."

I finally found my arms and legs, dragging myself to sit up. The taste of blood was bitter and metallic, nearly making me retch. It was almost like I was swimming instead of crawling, but I pulled myself towards the door anyway. For the first time, I realized I was alone in the car.

Why couldn't I have pressed the panic button when I had the chance? Why had I ever thought to stay with Steve and Eli? To pretend like I belonged?

The only people I belonged with - the only people that would ever embrace me for the monster I was - were the people that had put this button around my neck.

"How are you not sentimental?" Steve asked. I caught a view of him and Eli sitting around a makeshift campfire. "She's your friend too."

"Okay, backpedal," Eli rolled his hands. "She was never our friend."