Part 1

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by _amiyarose

by _amiyarose

June 12 1997 (11:36pm) - Sunday

I'm here now at my usual spot, in my bedroom... again with my white notebook. I reach for my pencil; beside it are the picture frames of the people who has become part of my life.

As time goes by, I found myself staring at the frames.

Looking back, I see myself crying, wishing I could turn back the time to where it used to be. But everything's almost gone. What's left are memories, memories to be forgotten, and waiting to be freed from the cage of my mind, heart and soul.

I fix myself and I decided to begin writing in my white notebook. I write the date today. I usually do this before I go to sleep.

This night is different compared to my past few days. I feel strange. My hands are shaking. Tears roll down in my face, I immediately cover it with my hands while quietly crying.

I don't want my family or anybody hear me, I'm pretty sure that they will throw a lot of questions to me once they noticed. I calm myself before I decided to go back in writing.

After writing the date, I started to write what happened with my entire day and of course my wish for today. I don't know but every time I write my wish to this notebook, few days will pass, and it will come true.

I look at the clock beside the picture frame of my family, it's almost midnight, and I need to finish this immediately. While finishing it, I couldn't stop crying. My notebook is filled with my teardrops. But this time, I know that these are tears of joy.

It's already 11:58pm. My heart skips a beat. My breathing is not normal anymore, it feels like I've run for 5 hours straight. Despite of this feeling, I smile, I smile with tears continue rolling down on my face. Ten seconds before midnight, I started a countdown.

10...9...

8...7...6...

5...

4...3...2...

1.......

I talked to myself,

"Happy 18th Birthday Crystal, you can rest now."

And I close my eyes.