Punch Drunk Kiss (Ryden)

.13.

Ryan's lunch consists solely of water, animal crackers, and gummy bears.

I mean..

What did I expect?

"Ry?" I cocked an eyebrow at him as we sat in a secluded corner near the back of the school during our lunch time. I figured today was a good day to just sit and have some quiet time with Ryan. Just so he'd have some time to feel at ease. Maybe he'll talk. Maybe he won't. Either way, I like spending time with him. Who wouldn't? He's adorable. The guy is literally eating animal crackers for lunch.

God, I miss animal crackers.

Should I ask for one or is that pushing it?

He'd probably give me one, but...

"What's up, Bren?" He smiled at me and giggled to himself, "That's your nickname."

"Sure is, buddy," Somehow, just seeing him look happy makes me the one at ease and it puts a smile on my face, "Nothing's really up, I just wanted to ask you..." I'm not gonna ask for an animal cracker. It's too soon, "How are you feeling today?"

"I feel okay," He nodded, perhaps to confirm with himself, "I'm feeling good. It's been forever," He sighed a little, but it was a happy sigh. Like a wave of relief washed over him. And I could physically see it, too. He doesn't have any visible scrapes or bruises. Smiling doesn't seem to bring him so much pain like it usually does. He's practically glowing out here in the sunshine of the bright day. It's a side of him I've never really seen and I'm gonna miss it once it inevitably goes away. So I'm gonna enjoy smiley Ryan while he's here with me, "But I'm okay."

"That's good, Ry," I tangled my fingers in his. He was wearing a baby blue jacket that was at least a size too big on him so the sleeves covered most of his hands, but not all of his fingers. He's happy today, so I'm happy today and I'll take my chances with the first degree burns I'll probably get, "That's really good, like amazing!"

"I guess so.." He shyly tucked a strand of his curly hair behind his ear, revealing a light blush that was hidden behind his brunet locks. He tried to avoid my eyes as he popped a red gummy bear into his mouth, "How's your hand?"

"It'll be okay," I slipped my fingers from his and placed my hand on top of his, softly wrapping my fingers around it. I want to hold his hand. Just gotta adjust, "I'll make it work. I want this to work. Whatever it is we are," Even I can't deny that we're more than friends at this point, but I couldn't tell you what I'd consider us to be, "I like being around you. Like, I really love being your friend."

"You really do?" Now, he said this in less of a cute and endearing way and more of a 'I actually can't believe you can stand being around me' way, which is a little sad, "Why is that? I've always wondered."

How do I explain to him that there's never a dull moment with him and I mean that in the best way possible? Like, how did I make anything I want to say sound.. not creepy and.. with the least amount of homo?

Why do I keep saying I'm not gay? Why do I feel the need to confirm that with myself?

"I.." I forgot to think of words before making sounds. Great start, Bren, "You're just you. And you're beyond amazing. You're so.. intriguing and you're like this.. puzzle," Wow. Smooth, "O-Or a mystery! Yeah, like, I wanna figure you out, but the journey to the answers is just as satisfying because I get to be around you and see you as the person you like to hide from everyone. The person who thinks cats aren't real and wears sweaters that are too big and.." God, his smile.. "Ryan, your smile could melt anyone's frozen heart. It's so soft and gentle. You are, too. I love being around you because you're you and when I'm with you," I cupped his cheek in my hand and smiled, "I don't wanna be with anyone else."