Random pjo/hoo one-shots

Family

Cold air whipped across my face as I stood leaning on the railing, looking out to the city below. The lights twinkled back at me, reminding me of the position i'm in, above them, in the tallest building in the city. The building I planned, poured blood, sweat and tears into. I know I should be happy, I just achieved my dream. But, i'm not. All I feel is melancholy.

What's the point?

What is the point of studying so much? Of being an graduate? Of getting the best scores? Of being on the top? Of getting a good job? Of achieving so much?

I scoffed. There is no point. None whatsoever. Sure, my mother was happy. Sure, Hylla was happy. We showed them all that letting a girl study, be independent doesn't always end in the girl falling for a guy, getting dumped and all that stuff. Yeah, we showed them that women can be successful, that their only purpose is not to grow up, marry some stranger, make others follow this stupid thing, get kids and make sure that they follow it, put the family's social image over the kid's happiness, force everybody around to do the same, and then make sure that the vicious circle follows. Yeah, we did all of that. Hylla and I are the result. But, it's not like the 'we' completely included my mother . They may not have followed it completely. But, they didn't stray too far away either. They broke it as much as they thought they could without seeming rebellious. That is why they are trying to marry me off to some guy. I seemed to have created the image of the perfect daughter.

Mother's last speech was still etched in my brain. She was proud of me. She was proud that I excelled in studies. She was proud that I didn't fall in love with a guy and date him. She was proud that I am self-sufficient. She was proud that I am a successful architect. She was proud that I beat her siblings' kids in this path of life we are forced to follow.

Through all that not once did I hear that she proud that I was happy . Nope. It was all about what she did and how she seemed her relatives. Such a beautiful family isn't it?

A family that only cares about it's social image. About how better off they are than their extended family. Anything about you that doesn't fit the plan of staying better and rubbing it in their face is to be curbed. That is how I grew up.

Growing up, there were few rules you never broke. Never fail in an exam. Do not trust males. No matter how nice they seem, never trust males. Even your cousins.

Bellona was always overly paranoid about that. Never trust males. Grandfathers, uncles, fathers, cousins, friends, none. I laughed. Maybe that's why I turned out to be homoflexible, demi-homoromantic. Cuz, I know Hylla and I inherited the overly untrusting of that gender from her. Her own methods backfired because her so-called perfect daughter isn't so perfect. She barely feels any attraction to guys. She leans towards girls, she trusts them more, she feels a hell lot more comfortable with the gender she grew up around.

Family? I scoffed again. Family my ass. That ain't family. A family that can't accept someone for who they are isn't family in the first place. To me, the word family always held a lot of feelings. To me, it cared about my happiness, not it's own, and certainly not about how it seemed to outsiders. To me, a family was where I could be myself. Not where I had to be on my best behavior, hiding my true self. By that definition, I had no family. Only people, acquaintances, colleagues, bosses, strangers.

The only person I would call family by that sense would be Thalia. Why? Because she cared more about my health than being successful in life. Because she cared more about my happiness than  anything else. Because she knew when i'm truly wrong. And she would tell that to my face, no sugar coating it, no beating around the bush. Now, that was family. It loved you for who you are and showed you the right path when you strayed. It didn't suffocate you with it's rules and expectations. It didn't demand you to be perfect. It inspired you to be a better person. I know my parents and Hylla would never be that way. It's okay, I guess. It's just who they are. I guess, it's what you call a generation gap. I have a my point of view of life and they have theirs. Just because I think differently doesn't mean I hate them or that they are the enemy or that they are wrong. They have their share of flaws too. They aren't perfect. That doesn't mean that they aren't nice people. They are. In fact, they are one of the nicest people I have come across in my life. And I love them for it. I love them for giving me the straight black hair, the high cheekbones, the beautiful name, the weapons to fight life and emerge victorious, the skill to handle that weapon and best of all, for making me into who I am because that's the reason i'm here, alive, fighting to be happy. Because they are the reason I haven't given up on life yet.