Silence Like a Cancer Grows/love

Silence Like a Cancer Grows

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Sometimes, when Toriel smiles at Frisk, it's impossible to miss the sadness in her eyes. No matter how good a child Frisk is, the shadows of the others before them remain.

Frisk will grow old and die too, and then it'll be nine.

Is that really what mercy is? Frisk thinks back to Asriel, of sparing him. Is there a better way?

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Asgore misses her desperately. And without her, it's more obvious the weight he also carries of both loss and guilt. Frisk kicks themself for being so inconsiderate as to not notice before.

They'd thought, in that battle, that he was preventing them from sparing him. But now, they think perhaps he was asking for exactly that.

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Frisk watches Sans with concern. He seemed carefree and happy, really happy, when everything was all over, but now he's quieter and talks to Frisk less, and when he does, it's just sudden jokes like back underground. He masked his misery so well back then, didn't he. Is he really happy now?

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Some of the other monsters aren't. Oh, they say they're happy enough. They're glad to be out of the caves, they're glad to have new lives and new opportunities. But maybe reality can never live up to expectations. When they were down there, imagining the day they reached the surface, they dreamed everything would be perfect up here, and it's not, of course.

Frisk's official title may be Ambassador, but they don't need to spend much time with humans directly. Instead, they do regular rounds of all of the monsters, to make sure they're all okay.

It took ages when they started, seeing how each one was doing and trying to fix each problem as they got to it, always a bit worried something would come up and they wouldn't be there in time, but once Frisk realized what they really needed to check on, it goes by faster and faster.

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Undyne doesn't get sad. She gets angry, which Frisk has come to think is similar. It's a lot harder to be merciful toward someone so mad, but they manage.

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Frisk feels really bad about Alphys. She looked like she'd been crying for days and days. It must've been so awful, being all alone there in the dark, feeling so sad and so scared. They'd promised to be there for her. And they were in the end, of course, but it would have been better to not take so long.

Which reminds them...they really need to figure out where Sans has gotten to.

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Papyrus is unreservedly thrilled at everything. Even setbacks don't seem to register to him. Frisk didn't think they needed to worry about anything there. But as weeks turn to months they find Papyrus starting to frown and wonder if people are avoiding him.

Frisk can't bear to see their friend think that.

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Sans doesn't seem to understand no matter how many times Frisk explains.

"Why?" he keeps screaming.

"It's okay now," Frisk says once more, pushing aside their frustration. Frisk is being good, after all. They're doing this for his sake. It's always been for everyone's sake, not Frisk's. "You won't be sad ever again," they promise.

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