C o m p l i c a t i o n s

...the complications with decisions...

"What are you gonna do?" Shay asked.

We were walking down the main road, the pavement glowing with freshly fallen rain, and cookies and juice on our minds. My mother had been much more lenient with me since I had told her, even though we hadn't discussed the situation outright quite yet, I knew she was letting it boil inside, and letting me calm down a bit. She never would've let me out of the house in leggings and an oversized sweater with my hair in a messy bun before I was pregnant, so something good was coming out of the whole baby thing.

"I don't know yet," I replied, giving a little shrug.

"Well you're already two months along right? Since you were a month when you found out," she muttered the last sentence, doing the math in her head.

"Yeah, just about." Again, I shrugged.

"Well then you're running out of time if you don't want to have it," she said simply.

If anyone else had said it like that, my feelings would've been really hurt, but this was blunt, tough-girl, Shay, so it was easy to take it how she meant it.

"Yeah, like I said I don't know the exact thing I'm going to do, but I think i'm leaning more towards adoption or even keeping it. I would feel endlessly guilty if I got rid of it. Not because I think it's alive or whatever, but because alive or not... It's mine."

"And Rogers," Shay reminded me.

"I don't want to talk about Roger," I said coldly.

Shay nodded. "Got it." We turned the corner and saw QFC in sight. My stomach growled in anticipation.

"I'm thinking about moving out of my parents house though," I said.

"Do you really think that's best?" Shay asked.

"I think it's better. You have no idea how tight the tension is my house. I swear, every time all three of us are in the same room, if you threw a plate into the air it would shatter because of the density."

"Jesus," Shay said, obviously picturing in vivid detail the exact scene I described.

"Yeah, it's stressful," I agreed.

"You want to hear my opinion?" Shay asked as we walked into the store.

"Sure, why not," I replied.

"I think you should keep it."

I stopped walking, and looked at her for a minute. She turned around once she noticed I had stopped walking.

"You do?" I asked. She thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "Why?"

She smiled. "Cause you'd make a good mom."

I thought about it for a moment, and then looked at her and said, "I think that... Maybe you're right."

"Of course I am," she replied, smiling. I just gave a her a look though I couldn't hold back a smile. We started walking again and she smiled. "I mean, you do talk about how much you want kids right?"

"Yeah..." I admitted, turning down the cookie aisle.

"While I do think it's a little early to be a parent, at the same time, I think you can handle it," she said, grabbing some Oreo's.

There was a moment of silence as I grabbed some good looking organic chocolate chip cookies. She looked at me like "organic? really?" but I just tucked them under my arm.

"I think it's a girl," I said quietly. "I mean, I know it's about a fifty-fifty shot and all, but I really think it's a girl..."

Shay smiled. "What are you gonna name her?"

I smiled shyly. "It's kinda dorky..."

"So what? That just means it's better than all the average names," she said. "Now tell me!"

I laughed a bit, and smiled. "Artemesia... You know, the first acknowlged female painter."

Shay laughed and kept smiling as she said, "It's perfect."

I grabbed a bad of gummy candies just for fun and nodded at her reply. "I think so too. I figured it would be a tribute to my old dream, and a symbol for my new one." 

Shay chuckled a bit. "Sometimes I think you are way too good of a person for me to be friends with you."

I laughed light heartedly. "See, but I'm the one person in this world you could trust to help you hide a body. Cause giving someone a proper burial with a few words said and a moment of silence is the right thing to do."

"What would you say? 'Hey... Sorry my best friend murdered you... I'm sure you deserved it though... May you rest in piece'? Cause that'd be the truth, and knowing you it's not in your nature to lie to a dead body." 

I rolled my eyes. "You're terrible." 

We both laughed and  linked arms, both smiling as we headed towards the juice aisle.

ONce we had grabbed the best orange juice we could, Shay asked, "I'm her aunt right? Like, you'll make her call me 'Auntie Shay'?"

I laughed out loud and replied, "What is that, a trick question? Of course." I smiled broadly at her. "I wouldn't have it any other way."