Bts oneshots #2

suga/yoongi

(y/n's pov)

i was visiting yoongi and the guys at the dorms and we were all sitting in the living room talking playing games etc

let me rephrase that 

'they' were doing all that as i was just a stupid antisocial freak, i don't deserve yoongi, i don't deserve anything 

i felt so left out, like i don't belong there or fit in, i'm just a stupid person with a brick wall over them

"y/n?.....i was talking to you" jimin said as i snapped back into reality 

"....oh sorry" i said as he chuckled and yoongi looked at me with concern as i just shook my head

"um..yoongi can i go to the bathroom?" i asked and he nodded

"down the hall to the right, baby" he said and i blushed at the nickname and i stood up and walked towards there once i got in i closed the door and locked it and started looking in the cabinets for a razor and i found one and pulled my hoodie sleeve up and started cutting vigorously and i sighed in relief at the sight of blood coming though i made more until my arms were covered in cuts aswell as blood i sobbed silently   

nobody loves you

yoongi is with you out of pity

you're just a waste of time

the thoughts tear me inside, i sighed and bandaged my arms up and washed my face

normally i have my pills with me to calm down but i forgot them back at my house 

when i came out the bathroom everybody was gone

i saw a note that read

'we went out to go get some food be right back sweetie

jin aka world wide handsome'

i smiled softly at the note but then i felt a sense of loneliness as they didn't care enough of me to tell me or ask if i wanted to go too  

yoongi didn't even tell me

i sighed and laid in yoongi's bed and cried loudly now as i was alone 

i fell asleep....

(timeskip)

i woke up to loud voices and laughter, i sighed as i felt so useless to them

i went downstairs to grab some some ice cold soda as my throat was dry and needed moisturizer, i put my hood so they wouldn't see  how puffy my eyes were from crying

i tried be as subtle as possible not they would notice me 

i was wrong

"hey y/n we saved you some panda express" taehyung said as i looked down so he would not see my face

"o-oh thanks but i will eat it later" i said as my voice cracked

"hey babe are you okay?" yoongi asked 

"um yeah i was just s-sleep so i my voice is cracky haha" i lied so he wouldn't suspect a thing 

before he could respond i grabbed my soda and ran upstairs

i sighed as i closed the door and sat on the bed and drank my soda

and cried myself to sleep again

(yoongi's pov) 

i went upstairs to check on y/n as she seemed off

as i opened the door she was sleeping on my bed and i went and sat next to her and rubbed her hair out her face i furrowed my brow upon seeing her tear stained cheeks

i gasped lightly as i saw her sleeve had went up and i saw bandages on her arms  

she stirred in her sleep and woke up

"w-what's wrong...?" she asked as she saw my face

"y/n.....w-w-what happend t you're arm?" i asked as her eyes widen

"n-nothing i just bu-"

"don't lie" i cut her off

"i-i'm not" she lied

" you're cutting" i whispered as she started to cry 

"fine, i am but this has nothing to do with you!!" she shouted as i scoffed

"how can it not have anything to do with me!!" i said rather loudly as she got up and went into the bathroom and slammed the door and locked the door

"y/n open this door or i swear i will break down my own door!!" i shouted

"go away!!!!!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, and it sounded so different so broken so heartbroken and angry  

at the loud shouting the boys came in and asked what was wrong

"she open the door and she's cutting" i said starting to cry as they all gasped

"y/n please open the door" namjoon said as he started baming on the door

"please all of you just go away!! stop pretending to care about me when you don't!! go and enjoy yourself's without me like you did earlier!!" she shouted/sobbed as we all furrowed are brows

"but wh-"

"i swear if you don't go i will cut my wrist!!" she said which made are eyes widen and we started hitting the door more i started using my shoulder and i didn't stop until it opened and my shoulder was bruised

when it was opened, we were shocked to see blood everywhere on her arms on her legs everywhere jimin started to get nausea just seeing it  

she was just sitting there crying 

i ran and hugged her and sobbed out how sorry i was

as the guys did so too and jungkook called the ambulance 

"i'm so sorry!!" i sobbed and pulled her on my lap and kiss her cheek as she pushed my face away 

"no! yoongi you dont deserve me!!" she screamed and i hugged her tighter as she sobbed and gave up and hugged me

"i love you....i love you so much" i whispered 

"i-i love you too" she replied in a hoarse voice

(authors note)

whooooooo girl, its honestly been like 43 years since i updated

and i am terribly sorry girl, i am so sorry

and i was on s hiatus cuz i was going thourgh somethings for a while but i am totally better now!!

love ya guys♥️♥️♥️