the last song (mileven au)

you can't fix this

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El hadn't been getting much sleep since the bomb dropped about her dad's sickness. She was constantly worrying about him and what was going to happen when he was gone. She didn't know if she could handle losing him or if Sara could. It was all taking a toll on her, as much as she tried not to let it.

Visiting him so often at the hospital helped ease her worrying, but once she came home and everything got quiet, the worries came back.

Mike was a great distraction for her, making her laugh and feel genuine moments of happiness. Eventually though, he had to fall asleep or leave and she was left alone with her thoughts, once again.  

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" Mike asked from his place at the kitchen table, when he noticed her presence.

"A little better." El concluded, through a yawn. "I actually got more sleep last night than usual."

"Good!" He softly cheered, then lifted a plate from the table. "I made you breakfast."

El smiled weakly, still feeling a little drowsy. She kissed his cheek to show her thanks, then took a seat at the table. Mike reached for the coffee pot behind him, considerately pouring some in her mug.

"So, I'm supposed to go into work today, but I'm probably just gonna call out."

"No, you can go if you need to." She really didn't want Mike to abandon all his responsibilities just to stay with her. She knew he would do just that if he had to and while it was incredibly sweet, she couldn't let him do that. 

"I'm not gonna leave you here alone. Surely my dad will understand and let me take off for the day."

He wasn't gonna budge, she could already tell. She still kept trying to assure him it would be okay. "We'll be fine on our own, you really don't have to do that."

"Yeah, I do." He was so sure of it, which was what she had expected. Only now, she was a little irritated. Why? She didn't really know. She just wanted him to listen to her and he wasn't.

"You know you can't fix this Mike." The sudden sharpness in her voice took him by surprise.

"What? Fix what?" She knew he had no clue what she was going on about, only increasing her frustration.

"You think you being here all the time is just gonna make me feel better?? That it's gonna make me forget all about the fact that my dad is dying!"

"I don't think that." He quickly denied, his head shaking back and forth.

"Yes you do! You keep treating me like I'm made of glass or something, like I could break at any moment if you left me alone here." El had tears in eyes, due to her emotions running haywire. She didn't know whether she wanted to scream or cry.

Mike took one of her hands in his own, clasping on tightly. "I'm just trying to be here for you, that's all."

El pulled her hand from his, shooting up from her chair. "Well I don't need you here, just go home!"

Mike didn't move an inch. He just sat there, staring at her as if he knew she would snap out of it at any moment. "I said go home!"

He could tell she didn't really mean it. He knew her well enough to know when she was being truthful and the look in her eye confirmed his thoughts. She wasn't mad at him specifically, nor did she want him to go. She was just mad at the world and all the shit it was putting her through. He was the only one for her to take it out on, but he didn't mind. That's what he was here for.