H O W W E M E T (JRA) (✔️)

C H A P T E R 37

Ja: "Uhm... c-can we talk about...like... 'us' for a minute?"
I looked at him shocked.
Y/N: "I'd rather not..."
Ja: "Why not Y/n?! You've been ignoring me for days and I want to talk about it and make it up! Do you even want to make it up?"
Y/N: "There is no 'us' Jack. If you're embarrassed about kissing me, I don't think we can ever be something. You'd be too embarrassed to even be with me"
Ja: "Y/n that was a mistake"
Y/N: "Yes it was"
He thought that I agreed that it was his mistake to act like that and I knew he had a little hope. But I was talking about something else.
Y/N: "That kiss was a mistake, it should've never happened"
Ja: "W-what? No"
Y/N: "Jack?! Do you really think that we can be something if you're embarrassed to kiss me?! Do you know how that made me feel? To know that you're embarrassed by me. I really thought that there was finally something going on, but I guess I was wrong. I can't be with you, I don't even know if we can be best friends like we used to be. Not if I know you're embarrassed. And it's hard for me now, with everything that happened, so I just don't know. I'm sorry that I acted that childish, but I honestly don't know what to do and what I want and how I feel anymore"
Ja: "Y/n please. We can at least try it, right?"
Y/N: "I don't think so, if one kiss already caused this, I don't think we should be together"
Ja: "You really are difficult. Please just forgive me"
Y/N: "I am difficult, you're right. But it's not that easy for me to forgive you like that. If you just accepted the fact that no one thought it was embarrassing and everyone said it was cute. But you think too much about the bad things"
Ja: "Do you even want to be with me?"
Y/N: "Yes, well... I wanted that, but I don't know now anymore"
Ja: "Y/n please give me a chance. Give us a chance. How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"
Y/N: "I-i don't know. I need to think about it. I need to work my own life out first, I don't want you to be in this mess"
Ja: "I don't care. Please, I-I love you"
He said with hope in his eyes, he really wanted this. He truly wanted there to be a 'us'. Deep down I knew I wanted it too. I was a bit shocked and before I could say anything, the branch broke. I couldn't grab anything to hold and fell down. The branch wasn't that high, but still. I fell on top of Jack.
Y/N: "Auw, fuck"
I said, immediately feeling pain. He stared right in my eyes. Time stopped for a minute, my heart beated fast. I wanted to move away and go back to the cabin. But one second before I could, I felt hands on my cheeks and soft lips on mine. It felt right, but it felt wrong too. No, I couldn't do this right now. I didn't kiss back and quickly pulled away.
Y/N: "I don't want this now, I'm sorry, give me some time"
I said as I got off him.
Ja: "I couldn't help myself. S-sorry"
Ja: "It was my fault, again. I fucked up again. Dammit"
He said to himself as he slammed his hand the ground. I didn't respond and grabbed my arm. It hurt bad. A sharp pain. Like someone stabbed me.
Y/N: "Auw auw auw!"
I screamed out, breathing heavily.
Ja: "Oh shit, are you okay?"
Y/N: "No. I mean y-yes I'm fine. You?"
I said with tears in my eyes.
Ja: "No you aren't"
I wanted to get away from here. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want him to see me cry for the thousandth time. I got up, almost not being able to stand on my leg. Everything hurt so bad. My head pounded and I felt dizzy. I started to walk back to the cabin. Like a zombie, like someone who was drunk. I couldn't find my balance. I tried to swallow my tears away. Tho only thing I wanted now, was to be home. Alone. In my bed. But I was here. In this field. Together, with the boy I love, but also the one about who I keep telling myself I don't. I felt an arm under mine, to support me.
Y/N: "I'm fine, let me go Jack. I want to be alone!"
Ja: "Okay, you are going to listen to me now! You're never going to be able to get back if I leave you here alone and you know that too. I know I messed up and you don't want to see me. I'll help you back to your cabin and I'll promise to leave you alone then, but only if I can help you now!"
I sighed annoyed, knowing that he was right.
Y/N: "Okay then, promise?"
Ja: "Promise! But only if you promise that you'll talk to me as soon as you know"
I looked at him. He lifted one eyebrow, waiting for an answer.
Y/N: "Fine! Now I want to go back to my cabin and sleep. Alone!"
He supported me and we started to walk back.
Ja: "This isn't going to work"
He said sighing. I looked confused at him. Suddenly he lifted me up from the ground.
Y/N: "No, stop, not gonna happen"
I said as I tried to stop him.
Ja: "Too late"
He smiled as he already got me off the ground.
Y/N: "Ughh"
I said giving in. He tilted me a bit and kissed my cheek.
Y/N: "Don't!"
I said sternly as I gave him a death glare. I just wanted to go back to my cabin as soon as possible without another fight. I didn't really say anything on the way back and didn't respond much to his questions. We got back and he laid me down on my bed.
Ja: "Do you need anything? Is your arm fine? And your leg? Do I need to check it or get someone to check it?"
Y/N: "No thank you, I'm fine, I want to be alone and don't need anyone. I'm sorry, but you promised something so..."
Ja: "Oh, yeah, right..."
I could hear the disappointment in his voice.
Ja: "Call when you need something, bye"
Y/N: "Bye"
He left the cabin. I didn't really do anything the rest of the day. I slept, watched movies and thought about what I wanted. Zach came to talk to me and we both said sorry. I told him how I felt and he said I needed to take my time, but not do certain things what can give Jack hope if I'm not sure yet. I already messaged the others that I was tired and cranky and that they didn't need to question me, because I didn't want to snap at them if I felt like this. I did that because I decided to have dinner with everyone else. Zach and I went to the main building and had dinner with the others. After that I went back and went to sleep early. I actually slept pretty good that night. I didn't do much the next day. I did go outside and decided to watch the others doing the activities and games, because I couldn't participate. I also went to the nurse, mostly for my arm. She gave me something against the pain and told me to rest. I just had a fun, chill day and went to sleep early again. Luckily I slept well again. I woke up early and got ready. We were going to the lake today.

To be continued...

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