Rouge's Trail

XL

He refused to tell me whatever it is that he has to tell me. He said it has to be when we're alone which meant that I had to wait the hour and a half it took to get back to civilization, the eight hours it took for us to get back in Alaska, and the two hour long ride back to his pack house where I was immediately shown to his room with the insistence that he wouldn't be using it much in the next few days anyway.

As I expected, he is going to fight.

Only then did he come up to his room and sit on the bed, falling back and spreading his arms out wide.

I watched him do all this with my arms crossed, waiting patiently. 

"Are you ready to tell me what it is that is keeping you in charge?"

He pulled himself up, looking at me with quizzical eyes. I sighed and sat down next to him. He took his sweet time in talking.

"I want you to remember what happened before."

"What happened before what?"

"No, not you," he picked up my hands, looking me in the eyes," I am talking to her."

He meant my wolf. I opened my mouth to tell him that she isn't here, but he didn't want to hear it. Instead he put his hand over my mouth and gave me a look to keep me quiet. 

"A long time ago we were happy and mated. In another life we were together and I can bring that back to us. You need to come back to me, Imani. I know you can hear me."

I stayed quiet. 

"I know you're in there, but I also know you've been hurt. I know that Valentin hurt you but I promise to you that I will never let him touch you again. He will bleed for what he has done to you."

She isn't in here.

"Please, my love, please," he was starting to get upset, hands moving to cup my face but I could see he was imagining hers," Imani, you have to come back to me. I will protect you this time."

I wanted to cry and so did he but neither of us were willing to let the other see it. Instead he gave up again and kissed my cheek, not moving away for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry about Imani," I whispered to him," but she isn't here."

He looked back up at me with those very blue eyes and I couldn't help but smile a little. That, I think, is the exact moment that I realized that I was making up excuses all those times I was worried. I told myself it was because I wanted my own freedom more than anything and he was jeopardizing it and that I was worried because of Ajax or Sophia or Isabella but when he looked at me like that I broke a little bit and kissed his forehead shakily and pressed his head against my shoulder and allowed him to feel what I wasn't ready for yet. 

I can admit that I care for him, but it will take a lot more than missing my wolf for me to fall in love with Lucas Sterling.

__

"I'm a little surprised you didn't send your Beta to our pack, Michael."

"Of course, I would have, Peter, but this rouge of his was heading towards Stewart, not you."

I listened to the Blood Moon pack talk with Alpha Michael for a little while but soon got bored. It was obvious they were hurt they weren't their strongest allies first choice for protection. Lucas was in some sort of a family meeting that he had wanted me to go along with but I refused. His sisters also insisted that I join but I made it very clear that I'm not here to be a part of their family.

It was a little harsh and honestly meaner than I meant it to be, but they needed to hear it. I think we all did. Michael's very pregnant Luna, Luna Lacey, was a little harder to shake. She had me sit with her while she told me about all things she has learned since she became a wolf while her daughter, Jacqueline, pulled at my borrowed shirt and begged me to color with her. 

I excused myself and went outside, finding that Jacqueline was following close at my heels with a stuffed rabbit held tightly in a hand.

"Will you play with me?"

I turned around and looked at her perplexed. The children at the Haven had asked for me to play tag with them, but those were rouge children. She was the future Alpha of the Jade Forest. Why would she want me to play with her?

"Please?"

"I guess I can," I kneeled down to face her better," What would you like to play?"

"Hide and seek?"

I nodded silently and she jumped out of excitement before telling me to hide and running to a tree to hide her face in. I smiled and went around to the other side of the house to hide behind a bush and wait for her to come get me. 

Behind me I saw the Sterling family doing their little family meeting. A short girl with long hair hugged Lucas but she was way too short so he picked her up to do it. Nova was standing off to the side with her son and daughter right in front of her waiting patiently for Lucas to be done with greeting the other girl so they could see their Uncle Lukie, too. Nova's hand was covering her mouth to hide the sobs she wanted so bad to let out. 

They thought they had lost their brother and there he was. 

They almost lost their brother and it would have been all my fault. 

I'll be damned if I let that happen again.