Promise To A Brother

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Lisa's POV

Happy told me everything about what happened with Clay and how he tried to say I was messing around with Juice. "You don't really believe something is happening with Juice do you?" I asked him. "Hell no. I know you wouldn't cheat on me and he wouldn't betray me like that. I know you and him look at each other like brother and sister so it's all good." he tells me. "You know, I could use a little Puerto Rican love." I tell him teasing. "Babe, he couldn't handle you. I can barely handle you." he tells me. I laugh and say "Look, I don't hear you complaining about my sex drive being so high. It wasn't like this until I had the twins." I tell him. He just laughs, kisses me and says "And you wonder why I don't cheat."

Walking back out to the main room, we walk over to where Gemma and Pop are holding the twins and Gemma asked me, "Are you okay baby?" I smile and say "I am now. I haven't had a panic attack since Herm died." I hadn't. I had one right after Lee left my house from telling me Herm had died but not since. Not even when I handed Mel off to that dealer. But I was so scared something would happen to Happy or Pop. I couldn't shake it until they walked back in the door.

We ended up just spending the night at the clubhouse. We all did. No one wanted to leave right now and we thought it would be a good idea to keep the family close. The next morning, Gemma and I, along with the few Croweaters that were still around, decided to cook breakfast for the guys. We had pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, the works. Pop was up and had Evan while Gemma had Tori and I went to the dorm to wake up Happy. He wasn't in the bed but the bathroom door was closed. Walking in, I handed him a towel as he was getting out of the shower. "Breakfast is done." I tell him. "Thanks babe." he says and kisses me quickly. "You okay?" I asked. "Yeah. I'm good." he tells me as he pulls me closer and kisses me right, to show me he is okay. Walking out into the main room, I fix his plate and mine as we sat with everyone and talked while we ate. Once we were done, Gemma and I headed into the kitchen to clean up and the Croweaters told us they would take care of it and to enjoy ourselves.

An hour later, we are pulling up to the house and Happy helps me get the twin inside and in their swings. He is still quiet. More than normal and that worries me. After feeding and changing the twins, he sits down with me and takes a drink of his beer. "Babe, you sure you're okay? You know you can talk to me." I tell him. "Just trying to still process everything. He deserved everything he got but he was still at one point my brother." he tells me. "I understand. I know I seemed like I was okay after handing Mel over to that dealer but, babe, what I didn't tell you was that I would cry in the shower, or I would think about him when I was looking at the twins. There were times that I thought maybe I didn't do the right thing and started feeling guilty. I still have days like that." I tell him. He looks at me and asked, "Why didn't you tell me? I thought we talked about things like that?" I looked at him and said, "I know we do and I know I can tell you anything but I was having trouble understanding things myself. How was I going to explain it to you? It's getting better. I just have to keep reminding myself of all the times he abandoned me, called me a biker whore and plotted to get rid of me to get to Herm's money and the house to save his own ass. He deserved it too but that doesn't mean that he didn't hold a place in my heart. He was still my brother. Still my twin. Clay will always be your brother and while he deserved what he got, he still holds a place in your history. Nothing will change that but it will get easier to deal with." I tell him. He just kisses me and says "Looks like Koz knew how much we needed each other, huh?" I just kiss him back and smile at the memory of the one brother that I loved more than anything.