Hardin
6 weeks. 42 days. 1008 hours. 60480 minutes.
That's the amount of time that I have gone without seeing her. Without breathing in her vanilla scent. Without her fingers tracing down the black lines of the tree inked into my torso.
That's the amount of time I have lived with my heart outside my body. Well not lived, existed. Pathetically.
If someone would have told me only a few months ago that I would consider a blonde with a hideous way to dress "my heart",or anyone really, I would have fucking punched them. Repeatedly.
The nightmares I have since I can remember started to disappear slowly. Being replaced with my very own fuck up of a so called life.
Sleepless nights. Thoughts torturing me. The pain of her loss present and clear as the stars in the night sky. My very own personal nightmare.
I've been to hell and back. Letting myself admit that there's no escaping it. I'm fucking trapped in it.
Everything reminds me of her. I used to lose my shit and laugh over the pathetic pricks in movies that would cry everytime they would even just see a show their partner used to watch.
Now here I am. Sitting in-front of the TV, watching Tessas favorite episode of Friends and eating Frosted Flakes with fucking Scotch instead of milk.
I started replacing the milk with alcohol after the one month mark without her passed.
I'm not crying though. I haven't cried since day 33. I'd like to think that I've became numb to the pain. Deep down I know though, that I'm just getting used to it.
The fucking knifes being turned in my chest are the constant reminder of what I've done. They are the constant reminder of what I've lost.
A few months ago I had nothing to lose. Now I'm back to that state of having nothing to lose again. Because 42 days ago I lost everything.
42 days ago I lost Tessa.
__________
Heya my dear people.
Thank you so much for almost 100 reads on the first chapter. This chapter is really short, I know but I needed it for my storyline because of the amount of time that has passed and everything. The other chapters will be different don't worry.
- yours truly <3
YOU ARE READING
Just a memory
FanficWhat if Tessa never would have forgiven Hardin? If they would have continued their life's going separate ways? The pain slowly killing them. Will they survive? Or will the pain get the best of them? this book is based on Anna Todd's "after"
