[Damaged Soul]

Always Nearby

(Renney's POV)

The next day, I sit with Snake eyes, his hand on my shoulder as he uses his other hand to prop up his head. I am eating beside him, stuck here until I can learn to use control without Snake eyes. 

"Are you two ok?" Scarlet asks as she wanders over, with her trey. She lays it down on the table and sits across from us. I read her mind and her emotions.

"Why are they touching like that?" Is she jealous? Maybe...

"So what's with the touching?" She asks as she puts her hotdog to her mouth. 

"So I can have my powers under control. Want a demonstration?" I asked her, smiling a little. She nods since her mouth is full. Snake eyes shakes his head at me but all I do is give him a reassuring smile and take his hand off me. I force his hand away and into his lap, once I release his hand, blue electricity starts fizzing up my arms. I grit my teeth.

"Up." Snake eyes signs to Scarlet and they are off the metal table instantly. Smart. I growl and punch the table with all my might. The table snaps in half and the electricity lights up the table like crazy. I pant and sigh as I fall to the floor, I feel Snake eyes' hand on my arm quickly, a small shock coming from my arm up his and it stops. I feel the burning in my palms lessen. I stand with Snake Eyes' help. Suddenly, bursting through the door is General Hawk. I gawk at him for a second then mentally face palm.

THE CAMERAS!

"My Office! NOW!" He yells at me. I grab Snake eyes' hand and almost force it off me again to give Hawk a piece of my mind. But Snake eyes pulls me with General Hawk to his office. I curse in my head and read Hawk's mind. 

"What the hell is she doing?! Does she not realize how risky that shit is?!" General Hawk thought and grumbled is a little bit aloud. 

We sit down at Hawk's desk, Snake eyes is holding my hand as I sit there in the chair. Hawk is rubbing his temples, trying his best to relax his anger that seems to bubble up like my burning. 

"Hawk, look, I'm sorry-"

"No, you KNOW how risky doing that is! Why can't you just control yourself? Is it Scarlet? Did she bother you?" He asks, saying it rushed and loud like if he was louder it would fix the table in the cafeteria. I hang my head in shame. I felt guilty but I also felt like a kid again, being scolded by a parent like General Hawk. 

"Yeah, I know that was risky. I don't know why I can't control myself, I'm obviously some kind of fuck up, Hawk! AND NO IT IS NOT SCARLET!" I yelled back, slamming my hand on the table, it didn't break. I force Snake's hand out of mine and break Hawk's desk, it starts to catch on fire from my hot hands. I pant slightly as I stand before the large fire between me and Hawk. 

"Get the hell out of my office..." He finally says after a long angry tension filled moment of us staring and glaring at each other. 

I huff and storm out, the ground cracks with each step I take as Snake eyes tries to catch up to me. He finally does and grabs my hand, the earth stop shaking beneath my heavy feet and I finally stop stomping. 

"I'm sorry." He signs with his hands for a second then leaves his hand in mine. I shake my head at his words. 

"Don't be sorry. It's all my fault. I'm stronger than you, Snake. I was the one to force your hand away." I scolded myself in my head. I can be such a self righteous idiot sometimes. 

Snake eyes shakes his head. And I realize now how hard it is gonna be for him to communicate the only way he is willing to know how. I am taking away his speech if he wants to keep me in control. That's terrible indeed. I feel terrible. I feel like a burden, again. 

"I should be the one apologizing." I mumbled quietly, less than a whisper, something Snake can't be able to hear. 

"I'm sorry." I say loud enough for him to hear and we both go silent. I usually don't apologize to anyone. I turn our direction off from his room and head to the training room instead. I march in, fast feet. Left right, left right. I count my steps as I enter my private training room. I punch that bag like no other and it falls like before and it's broken open where I punched it. I used my claws to claw it open and open more. Snake eyes had let go of me once we entered the room. He knew I needed to let out my frustrations on things like this. I feel tears drift down my face. I wish I wouldn't cry in front of Snake eyes but here I am, crying like a child, again. Always like a child. Just because I had no real childhood didn't mean the world had to mock me in every single thing I did or will do. It hurts to breath. I feel my palms heating up and I feel blood trickle down my back, not sweat, but blood. And it's turning to red-ish vapor as it burns away at my skin but the blood keeps coming. 

The energy is burning away my physical form from the inside out. I grit my teeth as these tears turn to vapor in the cold air around me but it feels like a heatwave. Snake eyes approaches me with silent steps but I look at him and he can tell. He can tell that I want to kill myself right now. Want to end it all for the better, to not be a burden. It's like right then and there, he can read my mind like how I read other people's minds. Right then and there, It's like someone finally understands. I smile at him and I reach for his face. I put my hand on his cheek and a wave of relief and cold wash over me instantly. 

"Not to sound creepy or corny but..."

"I think we are soulmates." He signs, finishing it all for me. I lied when I said I didn't understand sign language. I do but I just didn't have the brain capacity sometimes to accumulate an idea of what he may be saying. 

"It seems like it. Especially if you can calm down the burning so instantaneously like that." I gasped out as he put his hand on my cheek, caressing my cheek then releasing me to sign. 

"Not just that. I think I'm in love with you." He signs and my heart skips a beat. Oh god. Love? Are you sure?

"I'm so sure of myself in my emotions that I don't know what to do with them." He continues, as if reading my mind again. How does he do that? Maybe it's all written on my face and in my eyes. The way I'm looking at him must say so much. 

"You don't believe me at all, do you?" He asks. I shake my head ever so slightly and he nods, hanging his head slightly. 

"I would die for you, Renney." 

"Speak." What did I just-, "If you love me, then speak."

"You know I can't-"

"SPEAK!" I yelled at him. His hands shake and I can hear his throat silently trying to make noise. I leave the room without him, leaving him standing there. I head to ripcord's and lay on that stupid table. He jumps at the sudden outburst, or interruption. 

"Let's get this over with." I mumbled loud enough for Ripcord to hear. My tears are burning up my face and it's killing me to cry in front of another person. He places the metal bar between my teeth and I chomp on it, flat now in the middle. Ripcord hooks me down with buckles and metal cuffs. I lay there, burning up that table. I close my eyes and brace myself for another failure. 

"I love you too, Snake Eyes." I think.