II.
The nauseating laughter of the kids in the park suffocates my chest.
Why do I get this kind of feeling whenever I pass through a crowd of laughing people?
Especially...kids?
I shake the thoughts away as I walk my way to meet a friend in Starbucks in some random mall here in Singapore. I never really admitted it before but... there's also something with the scent of coffee that makes me feel like I've been to Starbucks before I had an accident.
I don't know. It's weird but somehow the idea comforts me. Maybe because it gives hope to my existence, maybe because it gives me something to hold onto, and maybe -- just maybe... with all other million chances in the universe, these thoughts could've really happened in the past.
I brush off all of the thoughts I was having that was going in a straight line with the wreck and before I know it, I was already pushing the glass door of Starbucks.
A girl wearing a domo-beanie waved at me from the innermost corner of the room; it was Chinky, a family friend. Chinky claims to have known me too, even before the crash. I put her under surveillance, though. I can't just trust anyone like that; I had supernatural abilities before... I might get caught if I open up too much. Besides, I have nothing to open up about. I just can't trust anyone that much.
"Cassie!" She called out, "Over here!" Cassie. How fictitious. Normally I would cringe at the sound of that name, but somehow I manage to get use to it... I smiled and politely wave back at her before closing the door.
After doing so, I make my way through four tables and I stop the moment I saw a guy wearing a gray hoodie with earphones plugged in his ears. When I was standing next to his table, I felt an unexplainable feeling inside me, like some energy surge enveloping me.
It was like all the people in Starbucks stopped moving while the guy was receiving all the emphasis; the rest then, fades into the background as if a powerful force enters the room. And just like that, I felt like I was seeing something... a vision. "Cassidy!"
I stop contemplating as I went back to the current setting as I felt a tiny spark grew in me. If that was truly a vision, then probably... there's a hope that awaits me. But...
What just happened? Why did that happen? What did that mean?
I look over to check at the guy again and I notice a book covering his face and he was obviously not wearing earphones. Everything else in the background is back to normal speed; the music playing inside the coffee shop was back, the sound of chattering customers... it made the vision I had seem unreal. Like nothing happened. Was my mind playing tricks on me?
Was I hallucinating? I shake my head and then I start walking towards our table. "That was weird..."
"What's weird?" She says, while dumping her straw on her frappe.
"Nothing. What's up?" I asked, trying to distract her and not provoke her to ask more questions.
"Oh yeah! I have news for you."
"What news?"
"I did some research... and I found this." She pushes the brown envelope towards me with her fingers. I look at it first and then I look at her.
"And this is?"
"Your student copy when you were in New York."
I took it into my hands as I was silently praying in my mind. Will this be the answer to all my questions? I take a deep breath, closing my eyes, I open it carefully. The sheet of paper has my two by two picture pasted on the upper left corner. "W-where did you get this?" This sheet of paper holds my life. A warmth feeling overtook my emotions and all of the sudden, I've been convinced that the hope I had felt and seen earlier was real.
Now I am so much more than hopeful.
"Remember that I was gone for a month? I traveled back to New York, to your school... my previous school." I pause to look at her, studying every stares I receive from her. At this rate, there was no chance she'd be telling lies in front of me. "...We went to the same school back there. I begged them to give me your copy... I told you right? You existed even before the crash, Cassie. I will help you recover the scattered parts of your life, just... give me time."
My eyes searches over the paper, examining every bit of information, going from one detail to another. Karchedelle Hunter. 19. December 5. "I'm... Karchedelle?" I felt my eyes heating up, I can't explain what I felt.
Karchedelle is such a different name... it's beautiful and tragic.
I was 18 when I got into that accident, three years had passed... three birthdays had passed. Am I 21 years old now?
Am I?
It's been three years since I've been living like a fictional character, eating and drinking every detail they'd feed me. Three long lonely years since I've been anonymous to everyone... even to myself.
"...I don't know if this is the right time to tell you but... I am Karen Hunter." Hunter? I study her face. Her eyes, her brows, her skin tone... now everything makes sense. I always thought she made me too comfortable the moment we first spoke... but if what I'm thinking of is correct, apparently, I've always felt it from the start. At times like this, you only have your senses to trust, and as for me, it's the feeling she gives me every time I'm around her. And plus... She looks a little bit like me. "I am your older sister."
I was about to have a brain freeze right at that moment but then little did I know the next thing that was about to happen will explain everything else...and so that explains all the other visions I had several days before. Seems like these visions are handy afterall! "But we can't reveal it to them... it's not yet time. You still have a lot to remember and you need to get back what you have lost. You should take this as your first mission. Gather and collect your memories, Karchedelle."
So this is how it feels like when you know your true identiy? Epic. For the first time in my life, I felt like I am a real person - and I am no longer just among the living and the anonymous.
And now, I am the exact opposite of anonymous.
I exist.
