Le Madame Red

Hey, cute waiter...

"I'm telling you, blowjobs aren't sex. They're like a nice mutual understanding. The ass, the ass is sex though. Okay? That's like a full on white picket fence country home scenario," the guy said. A nice dapper looking fellow (if he didn't talk) with blue hair, a beauty-mark under his eye, and a three piece suit minus the suit jacket. Which makes it kind of just a suit? In a sense, if you think about it. 

"Anything is sex, okay? Everything is sex. You can't just get intimate with everyone you meet," another man said. He had short red hair. It kind of reminded Adrian of Grell, except he was a he and he owned it. This man was dressed in the same sort of attire, but this was totally a Red vs Blue scenario. 

"Hey, cute waiter," the blue one looked at Adrian. Adrian looked behind him. Nope. No cute waiters here. Oh, wait, was he the cute waiter? "Settle the debate. Are blowjobs sex?"

Adrian.exe has ceased working. He wanted to answer the question but didn't want to make it obvious that he was totally gay for Mr. Beauty-Mark here. "Blowjobs aren't on the menu, sorry," he replied. "I should've been killed in The Snap," Adrian muttered to himself while hiding behind a menu. He knew everything that was on it. He worked here. But, he needed to hide his face.

"I can't take you anywhere!" the red one laughed his ass off. "There is your proof that blowjobs are sex."

"That has nothing to do with it!" the blue one answered. "I just put him on the spot, poor guy."

"You should apologize," the red one insisted.

"Listen, uh, cute waiter," the blue one began. Adrian pointed to his name-tag (it had a nice rainbow sticker next to his name. Yay pride!). He did have a name, contrary to popular belief. "Shit, what does that say? I don't have my contacts in."

"His name is Adrian, you dumbfuck," the red one rolled his eyes.

"Listen, Angel, I wasn't blessed with beautiful 20/20 vision. Leave my blind ass alone," the blue one said. "Anyway, Adrian, I'm sorry for putting you on the spot like that. I'll leave my number on the check. Let me buy you some coffee. I can properly apologize then," he said.

Adrian tried his best not to smile. He totally didn't want to smile. Had he just gotten himself a date with a sexy man? Luck was on his side. For today, at least. The duo stood up and left the money on the table. Adrian waited till he couldn't see them on the street anymore and ran to the reward (aka, the best thing about his day thus far). He immediately put the number in his phone. He would cherish this receipt. Forever.

. . .

Adrian sat on the couch and sighed. He needed to get some candles or something. This place smelled awful. "Hey, Adrian, how have you been? Staying out all night like a party animal all the time?" Lau sat beside him. Shit. Not what he wanted.

"Oh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you," Adrian thought about everything that had taken place. Wait a minute. Lau was pretty fucked up as far as people go. Adrian couldn't be worse than Lau. Like, Lau had two women at all times and one of them was his sister. Adrian had never discovered if she was blood related or not. But it was still kind of gross. He had nothing against poly relationships, mind you, just Lau and Lau and, well, you guessed it, Lau.

"Hm, try me," Lau insisted.

"You're the most fucked up person I know," Adrian adjusted himself to look him in the eyes. "So you won't judge me, right?"

"Should I be offended? That seemed more like a compliment. But, you're right. Anything you say will not be something I haven't done at least once."

"I'm the assistant to a dominatrix and I still haven't properly fucked a man. Today I just peed on someone and he fucking loved it," Adrian said. "I haven't even quit my day job. I just, left my waiter job to go partake in the sweet endeavors of piss play, or, whatever you call that shit. God, I hate my life." 

Lau spit out his drink. All over Adrian's face. He burst into a fit of laughter. "I was wrong. That completely took me by surprise. You get paid to do that shit? You?" A twinge of hope reflected in Lau's eyes. He had a terrible idea. "Hey, if I pay you to stick fingers in my ass would you do it?" Adrian rolled his eyes. This guy was still wanting that?

"It's not that kind of job," Adrian sighed. Never, in his life, did he think he would hear that question. Especially not from the mouth of Lau. 

"You won't have to pay rent," Lau offered. Adrian still wasn't buying it. "For three months."

"Alright take your pants off," Adrian shoved Lau on the couch. Money-senpai was returning to him. How magical. All he had to do was shove a couple fingers in his roommate's ass? Seems legit. 

"Eager, are we?" Lau snickered. "At least let me move to the bed."

"When was the last time you changed those sheets?" Adrian cringed.

"You aren't getting on the bed what does it matter to you?" Fair enough. Adrian released Lau.

The male tore off his pants and plopped on the bed. Adrian pushed legs up and apart. He didn't expect to find Lau attractive in any way. The drugs, the fascination with women, him being a general asshole, but Adrian did find his feet nice. They were very nice feet. Quality feet. Did Adrian have a foot fetish? Maybe just a bit. But these feet were rather nice. You couldn't blame him. 

"Alright, here goes nothing," Adrian muttered. He licked his fingers a bit and did the Gay Lord's holy homosexual work.

"Ah! Yes!" Lau was so excited to have another man's fingers in his ass. Adrian didn't understand. Maybe he was questioning his sexuality. What did it matter? That was three months rent out the window. He could finally spend some money on things that really mattered...like, uh, that jacket he'd been wanting for the past forever. 

The door opened and who was standing there but Ran Mao and Mey-Rin. Angry women. Adrian stood up, raised his hands as if they were the police, and accepted anything they threw at him. He thought for sure Mey-Rin would be the one to punch him. But, actually, Ran Mao punched him so hard he was thrown back and hit the wall. Damnit. It wasn't even his fault, technically.

Was it worth it? Hm, probably. He could see that jacket now...yes, definitely worth it.