Too Close To Love

Babba.Bubba.Baby

My feet charged forward, hips flying into the wooden door, barely noticed in the commotion. I sauntered boldly towards the little newborn, breathing caught as I took in it's tiny, delicate features. I'd never, ever felt so much love for something that wasn't mine. The little baby boy was beautiful, only wrapped in a simple White cloth. It was evident he was a boy, bold cheekbones, and the tell tale blue eyes of a newborn. His small tufts of brown hair raised from his head, cheeks glowing a bright crimson. I gently scooped my small bundle up in my arms, as his body fit perfectly.

"Hi baby". I cooed, rocking it slowly as a few pair of eyes darted to me for a second. Niall was swiftly behind me, concerned for the pair of us. He stood directly by me, shielding the view. Not that the baby could see yet, he was only minutes old.

Slipping my free hand under the tap, I cleaned his face soothingly, all the while cooing and rocking his tiny body in my arms. Love radiated from my body, he was simply beautiful. Niall stared in wonder, picking up the bag from the corner, and speaking soft words to the doctor who didn't seem to be paying much attention. From what I could gather, we'd be on the top floor, with the baby while he got checked out...and while his mother was sent to the serious part of the hospital, the danger unit. My cheeks flushed at this, tears flowing. I begged anyone who listened to make sure she was okay, for this tiny baby, the tiny baby that needed his mother. I would love him, care for him for the moment while they saved her life, but I couldn't be left with the responsibility of him, yet I couldn't let anyone else call this baby theirs.

"Right, if we head up stairs now, the boys will be waiting." Niall grinned, eyes glowing. That permanent smile etched into his features, making every girl swoon.

"Thanks bab". I reached up to press my lips to his cheek, heart stopping in my tracks when I noticed a deathly red Mark on his cheeks. I felt the baby wriggle in my arms, but I simply swayed my arms faster, humming the softest of songs. I eyed the bright red lip Mark on his cheek,shuddering violently with a deadly condition of anger and heartbreak.

"What. Is. That." I demanded, making sure the tiny boy was fast asleep again. Niall coughed nervously, pace picking up as he rounded the corner, dropping the bags on the floor as he sped up the stairs. Outrage consumed my feelings, as I held him close to my chest, fuming as I tried to pick up the bags also. Niall was definitely not in my good books right now, and I had no plans to get him there. Just as I was huffing and puffing, cool hands brushed my shoulder, and I relaxed instantly. There was only one person who could calm me down like that.

"Mum." I squealed, half excited, yet still annoyed to say the least. I jolted upright, still keeping the baby tucked into my chest.

"Lily, whose baby have you stolen?". Her eyes narrowed as she slipped her arm through the carry bags in the corner. She was used to me and the idea of baby's, every party we'd been to, I'd headed over to play with the kids. I'd always warmed towards little babies and children, choosing their company over adults. I'd planned my children's names ever since I was 13. There was nothing I wanted more than to have children to cherish & love.

"He's Elle's." my voice cracked, sighing in disappointment as I realised how much I had grew fond of this peaceful baby already. My eyes shimmered, glinting in the light like glowing pools of sunlight, as I gently stroked my fingers over his head, instantly knowing not to touch the top of his head, it was the worst thing you could do to a new-born baby.

"Babe, I don't know who she is." My mum pointed out, as if I should know. I simply shook my head, and continued walking up the stairs, grabbing one bag that I could hold. Off to shout at Niall.

"I'm going to get us a coffee, be up with these any minute". Her voice called out as I trudged up the glass stairs. Usually, I'd leap up them five at a time, but I had other priorities right now. I frowned softly as I realised this whole baby thing wasn't as exciting as I had believed for 5 years.

The door creaked open with a soft thud, as the five boys glanced expectantly up to me. Zayn sat sleepily in the corner, smiling widely, before letting his eyes flutter close again. Liam, Harry, Louis.. All gleaming sleepily, god they were all so adorable. I was so proud of myself for remembering their names, it meant so much to me. Like that person sitting wearily in the corner once had.

"Hey Harryyyyyy! And Louu, hey you..Liamm!" I giggled, waving my free arm frantically as Louis did a happy dance, making over excited Liam squirm in embarrassment.

"You remember us, god Lil, it's been too long!" Harry blasted, not even caring when Zayn shushed him countlessly. They had all but missed the little boy in my arms, and I slipped backwards discreetly, so they didn't even notice. Only a matter of seconds, I sighed sadly, savouring their happy, sunny attitude.

"One of the worst things that can happen to a person is to be forgotten by someone they will never forget..." I recited, take a deep, savoured breath, watching as the words hit home to each of them. Zayn's beautiful Hazel eyes connected with mine, and I felt everything that I had once felt. I felt it, but didn't remember. Couldn't ever remember.

My eyes wandered over to the distraught boy in the corner, watching as he choked back a sob, and could only imagine the pain shooting through his heart. The one that I'd felt when he'd left.

"It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when it's everything you want." I whispered, startling green eyes brimming with tears, as all my feelings I'd ever felt for this boy came flooding back to me. As his deep, blue eyes connected with mine, the baby in my arm stirred, making his presence known, and my heart to sink. That was over, our last moment. All the feelings, had been torn down by him, and that was confirmation...that I'd hoped to delay forever.

Liam's face grew concerned, as I swayed the baby soothingly, reaching past the bottle in Niall's outstretched hands, to grab one from the bag. Move on, move on. I pleaded with myself, and him, swallowing the lump in my throat. I held him tightly to my blue tracksuit, inhaling his beautiful baby scent. He'd been sleeping in my arms for half an hour, and I'd already become accustomed to this adorable being.

"Lily, you never told me you had a child". Liam's voice boomed, making the tears avalanche down my cheeks. Zayn shot up, eyes alert at this new information. As I focused most of my attention on the little boy, I partly listened to them squabble.

Niall hissed in the corner, head drooped in his hands as his shoulders slumped, mirroring the exact opposite of the boy he never was. I knew I had been ill for nine months, but in no way had I had a baby. They were either trying to lighten the mood, or commenting on how run down and dreary I looked.

"Oh get a grip guys, it could have happened. How long was she out? Nine months? And no one was there, we all had to leave". Shivers raked my body, as Liam bellowed, chair groaning in pain as he shot up, making me cringe backwards, only to fall on someone else. Someone I should not be thinking about. I cringed further into the corner, using it as an excuse to change the baby's clothes, and get him ready.

"Well that one can't be Elle's, she only had Rose". A hushed voice questioned, making my face pale. As my fingers suddenly gripped onto the ledge, I froze as the baby's cries got louder, and my heart beat got slower. Rose... Another baby. That's why the other was abandoned. She must have had twins. Obviously no one was expecting the second baby.

"Lily!" that was only one voice, one that I promised myself not to fall in love with again. I felt the hurt rush through, as a cloud rushed through my throat, consuming my feelings. I had tried to stay strong, but everything was muddled.

"Will you guys stop arguing NOW!" The strong Irish voiced ordered, as I felt two strong hands pull me gently, yet shake me forcefully and protectively. I zoned out upon his soothing touch.

"She got out of a coma 24 HOURS AGO...DO YOU THINK SHE'S COMPLETELY RECOVERED? NO..!" As his voiced boiled up, I felt a sharp shooting pain in my head, never had I had a panic attack this bad. I felt the poignant smell of medical doctors uniform and orderly fashion, as guarding hands pulled me swiftly away. I felt myself being raised onto a soft cushion, and my little bundle of joy, that I was supposed to take care of being taken painfully away.

"My baby". I croaked, limp hand raising painfully slow. Exhaustion raked through me. As I let sleep consume me in its welcoming grasp, I heard Elle's violent voice hiss in my head: "he's not yours, he's mine".  I heard that soothing Irish voice calm my feelings, and felt my angel take my hand in his, stroking it softly. He didn't want me anymore, I wasn't his.