Too Close To Love

Temporary Happiness

24 hrs later.

A sharp panting sound filled the room, and the strong stench of medicines overwhelmed everything in the room. That wasn't the only thing overwhelming them. I felt two pairs of anxious eyes on me, as I raised myself up, yet again dazed and recovering from a long sleep.

"I can't do this anymore" I winced, lips feeling numb as I curled my arms around my legs, glancing at the two nurses, avoiding the gazing boys.

"The whole sleeping, then waking up, then randomly collapsing". I muttered, more to myself than anyone, as I raised myself up, only shocked to find a little sleeping form in the bed beside me.

"Woah, watch out!" One of the boys muttered, causing me to flop back down excitedly, and hold my arms out gracefully. I placed my fingers neatly under his back, and raised the baby up into my arms, until he fell comfortably in my chest. Everyone stared in wonder at how quick I was to respond, and soothe his actions. I was the first person to make contact with him, and to hold him. That bond would never be broken.

"She'll make such a beautiful mother". Two voices discussed, as my ears pricked up, I traced circular motions on his forehead, pretending to be engrossed in the newborn... It wasn't hard, babies were captivating.

"If she ever let's anyone give her the chance, she's so reserved".  Slowly, subconsciously, I felt my chest fall, and the shallow breaths rush to my feet. I had always been sensitive, but that was hard cutting.

"I'm scared of what will happen when we leave". Oh god, enough. Just at the right moment, the awakening baby coughed gently, alerting everyone of his presence. Before I could murmur, his eyelids fluttered open, thick eyelashes glistening. And before I could re-catch my breath, the most beautiful green/blue eyes connected with my own, turning my insides into butterflies. And as I gasped, lips turning into a loving grin, his mouth mirrored my actions, lips upraising into a small, dainty smile. I Was too proud to care. Niall leapt up to see my amazed glare, followed by Zayn who could sense my loving emotions. The eyes held the key to everything, and his held a gorgeous mix of shocking green and warming blue. Zayn and Elle. It all clicked into place, but nothing could stop the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when it all fit together, a perfect piece. All of his returned as his eyes connected with the baby's own. However strong my feelings, and our bond had been, as much as it pained me to say it, his was twice as strong. It was his father and son moment, one that was unexpected.

As he gazed in wonder and adoration, I slowly, achingly passed the wriggling child up to Zayn, letting the two of them bond in ways we couldn't. Sensing my feelings, having known me for so long, Niall's fingers pried at my own, both slipping into the Perfect puzzle piece that I thought had been permanently glued. However terrifyingly short our last moment had been, this little gesture gave me hope that we could still hold love for each other,love never dies. No matter how hard you want it to.

"Whatever we had, I'll always love you, I will never give you false hope again. It was wrong of me to let you believe we could ever happen". His harsh accent floated down to whip sharply at my ear, feeling as though they shot right through and pierced my feeble heart. Enough, I cried, letting out a strangled groan as I rolled away, tensing into a ball. My newly pressed jeans fell snug on my legs, and my Hollister sweater was adorned with the letter 'H', something that meant to much, and I now felt like scratching off. 'horan' had once meant the world to me, and gave me chills, but now it returned that dead feeling in the pit of my stomach, a dull reminder of what could have been.

"He wants you". Two pairs of warm green flecked eyes flashed up to me, and I melted Into both. The same routine of reaching my arms out, and my warm bundle of happiness tumbled in. However many metaphors, or words I could think of to label him with, we couldn't prolong the process, naming him.

"Zayn, you need to name him". He glanced proudly on, before glancing at me as if I was stupid. I couldn't help but giggle at his mood lightening gaze.

"Are you joking! The mum always names!" he stated with a 'duh' look, nodding sincerely as my cheeks grew warm, for once in my life, in a good way. He was giving me permission, promise, and security, that for however long I was destined, I was this little baby's mum. His light.

"Then it has to be...." I pondered, fingers floating up to tap my chin elegantly. Niall chuckled beside me, and I rolled my eyes, allowing him a centimetre of forgiveness,

"James as middle name? Seeing as it's Niall and huh, Liam's middle?" as soon as the words slipped from his mouth, I found myself grinning and nodding along, feeling Niall beam beside me. 1 centimetre more forgiveness?

"That means that the first HAS to be Freddie. Because the name Freddie relates to almost every single person I love.

Niall- You were going to be called Freddie, your dad loved the name so much, and your mum did too. But you already had a cousin called Freddie, so your mum found her other favourite name, Niall.

Zayn- Your childhood friend was called Freddie. You were friends for a long time until you lost him, I know he meant a lot to you.

Liam- He used to have a Dog called Freddie. He showed me all the albums, and pictures....they looked so close..

Harry- He first went under the secret name Freddie Stylin in White Eskimo

Louis- As far as I know, he is obsessed with Fred Flintstone."

As I flicked my soft green eyes up, the boys gaped proudly at me, my only reaction was to press my soft pink lips down onto Freddie's smooth skin. The gorgeous baby finally had a name. Freddie James Malik. He gurgled gently, prompting a series of coos and aww's to tumble from my mouth. Zayn gleamed proudly, snapping various pictures of me with his baby son. While I noticed with a start, that Niall sat precariously on his seat, finally reaching the tip of his emotions. I now learned not to doubt he loved me. No matter what he told me, I had never completely believed he never loved me, I'd only convinced myself to believe that.

"Freddie" I blubbered, trying the name on my Tongue. Once I approved of how It sounded, a wave of selfishness washed over me. I could see Zayn in the corner itching to hold his newborn son. It seemed silly to go on looks, but there was no doubting. Freddie was Zayn's double. He had shocking mix of Zayn's green and Elle's blue eyes, yet sandy tufts of hair on his head. I assumed this was from Elle's blond hair... As much as it wounded my pride to say it, he was a beautiful baby, so so blessed. Blowing out a short sigh which prompted the newly entered boys to chuckle, I cautiously passed Freddie over to Zayn. Zayn was too wrapped up in the little bundle of joy to even notice my agonising glare, let alone console it. My chest already felt empty. Harry's questioning glance snapped me back to reality, and I proudly relayed the little boy's name, causing Louis to set of a stream of profanities, running out the door shouting:

"OH I knew I should have just bought that Fred Flintstone outfit!" Harry took responsibility and calmed his laughter, running after his hyper best friend. This left Niall to go chase my mum and our snacks. Zayn challenged the terror of changing Freddie's baby grow, Liam fussed over the gurgling blankets in his arms. Wait, what?

The baby. Elle's other child. Queasy feelings surged through my stomach, as Liam calmed the baby in his arms, searching for someone to hand the baby too. As shocked as I was, I uncurled my small arms lovingly, reaching them out to him, smile warm like always. Instead he pressed his lips together tightly, glaring at me and passing the little girl to a nurse reading through paperwork. The foolish young girl had a few breathing issues as Liam approached her, causing me to snigger. Zayn gave me a knowing glance, hopping up to share the bed with me. I scuttled over, watching him place Freddie in-between us, enabling him to curl up in the crevice in between our hips. Liam ordered her how to look after the tiny baby girl before signing a piece of supposed 'legal document' for the nurse. Ha,yea whatever, I knew what it was like to be a fangirl, but he was giving her a BABY. Did she have no brain?