Avengers x Fast and Furious

The Avengers meet Mr.Nobody

"Let me introduce you guys to my brother form another mother." Said Fury with a straight face as he brought Mr.Nobody into a bro hug with an addition of a back slap.

"Hi, I'm Mr.Nobody, a pleasure to meet you all. I've been hearing great things about the avengers." Said Mr. Nobody introducing himself to a crowd of dropped jaws.

"Wait. Did that really just happen? Nick Fury in a bro hug?!" Said Clint from his perch.

"Benefits from a bet gone right." Replied Mr.Nobody to the shadow hanging above him.

"You won a bet with Fury. How's that even possible!" Said the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.

"My first and last. Worth every second and since time is money I say we get on with it and get to business." Stated Mr.Nobody in a grim voice.

"We've got a room prepared, the only thing missing is your team." Said Fury with the same straight face.

"So what's this mission about." Said Captain America impatiently asking for crumbs of his next mission.

"Oh you'll love this one cap" says Natasha lurking up behind him, "but you're just gonna have to wait until we get into a secure room just like everybody else."

The group walked in complete silence with only the sound of their feet echoing until Tony couldn't handle it any more and opened his mouth.

"So why isn't big green or Thor on this mission? If it's like a sensitive mission why am I here? Where's Banner? Also why is your name Mr. Nobody, I mean it's cool and all but-"

"Oh hey Tony. What took you guys so long?" Said Bruce interrupting Tony's rant as they walked into the conference room.

Bruce Banner with his nonexistent OCD had the meeting room set up with diagrams and notes sprawled all over.

Once the door was closed Fury began a video with a time stamp from three days ago of the Russian Embassy being attack. A drive by shooting with one too many grenade launchers and as if it couldn't get any better, once they went on evacuation protocols, the whole building blew up.

"A Mexican drug cartel by the name of Braga attacked the Russian Embassy and took the nuclear launch codes to a Russian atomic bomb they hid in Alaska. It's worth millions on the black market but that isn't why they did it." Stated Fury switching to another video from two months ago.

"Braga brought their exported meth into Russia which got the Russian Mafia pissed. The mafia has a great deal of higher up officials in their pockets and things got nasty between the cartel and the mafia. There was the slight possibility that the two might start a war between Mexico and Russia. The U.S. obviously wanted no part of it until the Embassy blew up. However Arturo Braga has been in U.S. custody for over a year and we've yet to identify the man in charge of the operation. "said Mr.Nobody picking up where Fury stopped.

"This a live feed of the president making up some bullshit promises to cover up the job. We've got to disarm the Russian base in Alaska and get those codes from the cartel." Said Fury.

"That sounds easy enough." Said Tony vocalizing his pompous attitude once more.

"Far from it Tony, the base in Alaska is just the tip of the iceberg, the codes they have is for at least 4 different nukes. The base in Alaska is the only one located in the U.S. holding 2 out of the four bombs. They're going to start a war but if the Avengers are going to openly act on this the UN is going to start a riot. And the president just promised that the U.S. will personally handle it." Says Nat bringing Tony back to reality.

"So what does it mean?" Said Tony who was pretty smart with his tech but not so with the political side of business and that's why Pepper handles everything.

"It means Cap, Clint and Widow are going to be infiltrating the Russian mafia, Tony and Bruce you guys are disarming the nukes. My team will be taking the cartel. Our priority is to locate the bombs but we're not going to be the only ones looking for them. You can assume the CIA, FBI, and probably Interpol will be too. Also none of you can be recognized if you do this whole thing goes down the drain." Says Mr.Nobody completing the whole overview.

"Are we going to be meeting your team?" Asks Cap. The old solider prefers to know the people he works with, even if they might not be the best, just knowing your team will do a whole difference.

"They'll need a little more motivation that just saving the world from another catastrophic war. Don't worry you guys just hang tight. I just need to take a visit to LA." Says Mr.Nobody nonchalantly and with that a vein popped on Fury.

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?! YOUR TEAM SHOULD'VE BEEN PREPARED. You're the one asking for a favor. You..you YOU FUCKING IDOT!! Get your shit together you have 14 hours before we're doing this with or without your team!"

"Wow, I can't believe somebody actually broke Fury." Said Clint.

"It's a talent." Said Mr.Nobody "Now would any of you like to come with me to pick up my team in 13 hours and 59 minutes counting."

"I wouldn't mind coming" said Cap "Hey Tony you coming"

"Me and Bruce are going to go over the specs for the nukes." Says Tony who's already infatuated with the mission.

Looking over for Natasha and Clint, Steve turns to see only the dust left behind by the two shield agents.

"Come on now Captain America no time for dilly dallying." Says Mr.Nobody.