I've read my favorite book
5 times
5 times I opened the first page and closed the last
I remember every page every phrase every moment of it
The heroes are carved in my heart
And every time I close the book it aches
That's how I feel about us
Every time I close our book
My heart aches
Like I couldn't remember a phrase
Like my mind couldn't memorize a kiss
Like there's a page thats missing
But as many times as I open and close it
The only conclusion I can give
Is that I didn't get closure
I couldn't fight
I couldn't cry
And I couldn't long more for it
But as I read about my favorite heroes
I realize
I'm not the heroine of our story
Instead I'm the heroine
That drugged us both
Got us addicted and then withdrawed
But us much as I tried
Rehab never succeeded
The only thing that's now left
Is the shadow of my voice
Chanting a song of i'm sorrys
And the last page of our book
Burning in the hollows of my eyes
Like a child stole our last page
Made a paper boat out of it
And let it sink in the river
Mocking my for not being able to see the water
For gazing and looking into a still river
For not being able to flow
Feeling stuck as of a blow
But when I try to be the author of our book
To grap the pen like you grabbed my cigarette
My hand stands still
Like a wall of air is blocking my path
Like a wall of stone is pushing me back
And in rehab they tell me
That one day ill be able to glide that pen on our last page
But what they could never understand is that I didn't want to write
I wanted to erase the void
Just the void in the hollow auditorium of my chest
That hasn't been occupied since you left
YOU ARE READING
to the stars
Poetry[..] she stopped living her life cause she didn't feel like dying
