You Won't F*** My Friends

Chapter One - Gerard's P.O.V

I loved my life.

Yeah, sure, it had its down sides of course, but it also had the pills, the drink, the sex; these things made the painful parts worth getting through.

My days were a constant stream of overcoming headaches, skipping college, seeing Bert and blasting music.

My nights were even better. They were a whirl of drugs and alcohol which made my world spin and my eyes see in bright colours and patterns, staying up till the early hours of the morning and sometimes not even sleeping. We partied almost every night, sometimes just me and Bert, and sometimes on a much bigger scale with more than a dozen others. Every night was different though, and each one seemed to get even better than the last.

Bert was the one who got me through it all, if it weren't for him then I'd probably not have the energy or the time or even the attitude to be able to pull off the image I was successfully doing. I was a young and wild rocker who had no fear and knew no bounds, Bert was the same and with him by my side I was confident and felt like I was able to be myself.

Many a night would pass where we'd be high on the pills and drunk on the booze and I would crawl up him, knocking him backwards as I straddled his chest and lowered my mouth to his. He would let me slowly put my tongue between his lips and trace it around his mouth but before long I would be flipped onto my back and he'd be the one pinning me down. He'd then shove his tongue down my throat and I'd respond, his hand tracing down my torso and sliding into my pants where he'd gently stroke me, making me squirm. I enjoyed every moment of it and he knew that as he smirked into the kiss, applying a bit more pressure until he was full on rubbing me, taking the opportunity to push his tongue further and more forcefully into my mouth as I moaned in response.

Bert was the dominant one, I accepted that and I liked it. I liked how he was in control and had the ability to make me blush and become shy in front of others just by giving me one small compliment. I liked how he fucked me and I couldn't refuse, not that I would have anyway. I liked how he could make me feel good about myself even when it was only the two of us there and he had nobody to try to impress. I liked how he took time out of his own life just to care for me and make me happy. He also got us all the drugs and stuff to snort, the poisonous coloured liquid in glass bottles, all the stuff we needed to keep our wild lives up to pace.

Whenever he fucked me it was good, but it was even better when we were drugged up at the time. The chemicals did numb our senses but it let us feel things in different ways and experience new sensations, ones that left us screaming each other's names until we ended up in a sweaty mess, panting as we lay next to each other, his voice in my ear as he whispered how much he loved me.

We even looked similar; pale skin, long black hair, red around our eyes and we were both skinny runts. We were the kind of people who everyone assumed would have high standards for girls who wouldn't even look once at us, let alone twice. But they were wrong, we had exactly what we wanted, we had each other. Our relationship was perfect, and I wanted nothing more from anyone, I was pretty sure he felt the same way.

We were probably failing college, not that I cared, we hardly ever went anyway. We did the work at home so we weren't very far behind but it was really a choice of the parties or work, and of course we chose the first one.

We didn't officially live together, but we pretty much did. My flat was close but Bert's apartment was bigger and nicer so I spent most of my time there.

I'd wake with a headache in the morning and if I wasn't already there, I would stumble my way across and fall through his door, he'd comfort me despite his own headaches and make sure I was equipped with coffee before seeing to himself. I think I woke him up sometimes though but he didn't seem to mind, I loved him for that and I was so glad that someone cared about me that much.

Sometimes I'd go to sleep so drunk that I'd wake up still pissed, those were my favourite mornings as by the time the drink wore off I was filled with caffeine and had successfully avoided a hangover. Other times I'd wake up somewhere and have no idea how I'd gotten there, the memories of a particularly wild party the night before would be fuzzy and faded and I'd have to settle for whatever explanation Bert was able to give me, if any. Bert had a much higher alcohol tolerance than me, although that didn't stop me trying to keep up with the amount of drink he consumed. That worried him and he constantly reminded me to take care of myself but I knew he would be there immediately if anything went wrong so I didn't worry at all.

I'd also occasionally wake up in bed and have Bert tell me in the morning that he had carried me there once I'd passed out. That always made me smile, I was definitely the one who needed the most care within our couple and I didn't envy Bert for being the leader, I was glad to have him and wouldn't trade him for the world. I didn't deserve him but he stayed with me and I loved him even more for that, I didn't know what I'd do without him and told him so every day.

"You never will have to do without me, Gerard, because I love you too much to ever let that time come." Was always his response when I told him that.

The clock ticked away the seconds up to half past three in the morning as I lay in the bed, drunk of course, but not nearly as much as normal because I'd thrown it all back up immediately after drinking it, I watched the love of my life breathe softly as he slept. The covers were tucked around his waist and his upper half was left exposed, I gently put my hand upon his skinny frame and felt his ribs rise and fall with every breath beneath my touch. His bones stuck out and his chest was covered in various bruises, obtained by drunk scuffles none of us knew how had came about and rough sex on our part, his neck had the occasional red circle which I had made with my mouth when he had been pleasuring me. My body looked very similar to be honest and I was proud, proud that I looked like Bert. As well as my lover and best friend, Bert was also my inspiration and my idol, I wanted to be like him and he helped all that he could to make my wish come true.

I smiled as Bert moaned in his sleep and swiftly leant across to gently kiss his lips, I fluffed up his hair and ran my fingers through the greasy strands, loving the feel of it against my hands. I stroked his angular face and traced his lips, I then kissed two of my fingers and put them both very gently on his eyelids. I stroked his hair out of his face before pulling myself close and lying with my arms around him, my eyes closed and a smile upon my lips as I kissed the back of his neck.

"I love you." I whispered, feeling content and peaceful, and very safe as I knew Bert would never let anything hurt me.

Without waking up, Bert rolled over and pulled me even closer to him, that made me smile even wider as the soft and warm blanket of sleep folded itself around and enveloped me.

Yeah, I loved my life.