Death Has Pink Hair

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Tour

"Right, so first things first, this is our rather grand bedroom!" Death said, opening two large doors. There was a queen sized bed, with red satin sheets, and a large flat TV screen over the doorframe, facing the bed.

"Ours?" I asked.

"Yep, you're rooming with me." he smirked,"Don't worry, I don't snore too loud."

"Oh no...no no no-"

"Moving on!" he said, sauntering onwards. My legs lurched after him.

He led me to the end of the hall, and opened the doors to a huge kitchen.

"The cabinets refill every time you take something out, and there's basically anything you want." he walked over to the cabinets and my legs followed after him,"Think up your favorite snack, anything."

I gave him a funny look, and he nodded his head as if to say "go on". I hesitantly thought about Zebra Cakes.

Death opened the cabinets and tossed a whole box in my hands,"Those make you fat, just sayin'. Not like you can gain weight when you're immortal, though."

I wasn't listening, I was too busy opening the box and digging into a Zebra Cake. I couldn't feel hunger or anything, but I still adored Zebra Cakes.

"So yeah, you can come in here, think about what you want, and they 'magically' pop up in the cabinets. But not full fledged dishes, you have to think up ingredients for that." He turned around,"Moving on!" he marched on, gesturing over his shoulder for me to follow. My legs lurched, and I sloppily followed him.

"Do you get cable here? And internet?" I asked. Hey, I can't live without Tumblr or my shows.

"Well duh! What d'you think the TV was there for? Decoration?" Death snorted,"Besides, I like to watch Adventure Time."

I blinked. Adventure Time is my shit. But I wasn't going to say that out loud, of course. He opened another set of double doors at the end of the stairway.

"This is my office, off limits unless I'm accompanying you." he said.

The room was, needless to say, filthy. The desk had papers with people's faces and documents scattered across it. There were file cabinets lining the walls, probably containing more documents. Behind the desk was a large painting of the Grim Reaper, with the tattered black cloak and all. There were even blood stains around the room. What.

"How does this whole...dying thing work?" I asked.

"What d'you mean?" he asked, raising a brow.

"I mean, what's with all the papers?"

He looked confused for a second, then he seemed to understand,"Oh, you wanna know how I do my job. Its actually a lot more complicated than you think, though." he walked up to the desk and pulled out a file. He licked the tip of his fingers and flipped through it,"This is your file, it contains everything about you, from the time you were born, to you death. I decided how you would die. Its my choice, then, I make it a reality. And based on your life choices, I condemn your soul to either heaven or hell."

"So, God or Satan's not in control of you?" I asked.

"Nope. Neither one of them have spoken to me since I got hired," he shrugged,"They either want nothing to do with me or they just don't care. They only watch over the souls I collect."

"What do you mean...hired?" I asked.

He sighed and scratched the back of his neck,"That's...a whole different story. I'll tell you about it later."

"Oh...okay?"

"Anyways!" he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to the door,"Let's get you settled in."