The AAA~ Tales from the Table

............. An Empty Basket

        "Five candy apples, four chocolates, three sticks of taffy, two quarts of sugar water, and one piece of that new candy I've been hearing of-- moonbursts, was it?" Squire Ruchi requested. She decided that she wouldn't make the peasants give her too much. That would be unfair. So she left it at just a few items. 

        Mr. Keck looked guilty. His face was coated in dirt, and his hair was rumpled. "I'm sorry Ms. Kudalkar," he croaked. "But I ran out-- at 9:30 am, a tall, beautiful woman came to visit and said she'd give me all of the money in her cape if I gave her all of my candy, so I traded. Then she kicked me. And I tried to buy food, but the store won't let me!"

        Squire Ruchi gasped in shock. How could he? The woman's money was ah-bviously fake! Now, the squire wanted to kick Mr. Keck herself. Instead, she just turned around with a "humph" and headed down the street to another house, while Princess Anna and Prince Jessie apologized for her behavior. 

        The squire arrived at a house that was covered in pumpkins-- they aligned the path, stacked up against the walls, and were even on the roof! Each pumpkin had a weird face on it, and a candle had been placed inside of it, allowing the expression to glow.

        Now that the squire was at the front door, she knocked. The door opened, revealing Dulie Woodsen, the annoying 2-year-old who played with Ally the Annoying (-er) Alligator. She stood there, sucking her thumb. Ruchi wagged a finger at the child to give her the candy. She glared, daring the kid to disobey her. But Dulie didn't budge.

        "Um, hullo?" Ruchi muttered, waving her hand in front of Dulie's eyes. "Great, so you're dumb and blind."

        The little girl finally moved, but instead of grabbing candy for the squire, she put one hand on her hip, continuing to suck-- her thumb and as in to be terrible. Ruchi just squinted at the child and crossed her arms. They stared at each other for what seemed like five minutes, when the squire heard a gasp. Dulie looked away, so Squire Ruchi was free to do the same. Prince Jessie and Princess Anna had arrived.

        Prince Jessie was still gasping, and Ruchi wondered if Jessie was going to faint from lack of air. After a minute, Princess Anna sighed, and she pulled the plump Dulie's thumb out of her jaws. Jessie finally stopped, and pulled Purell out of her pocket and squirted some into the child's hands. Dulie just looked up at the prince like he was insane. Jessie motioned for Dulie to rub her hands together, but she still didn't move.

        "Well," Prince Jessie said, disgusted. "Looks like someone will grow up insanitary."

        Princess Anna just rolled her eyes. "Dulie, do you have any candy for us?"

        Dulie shook her head and then kicked the door shut. Squire Ruchi gasped, even longer than Prince Jessie had. But clean fingers weren't going to stop her-- candy was. 

        "Anna, check the houses down this street, and Jessie, you go down that one," she ordered, pointing. 

        They scurried off, trying not to spoil Ruchi's halloween. Squire Ruchi kicked a pumpkin in anger, and the entire row toppled like dominoes. 

        When Anna and Jessie were back, their bags were empty. 

        "Everybody said a tall, beautiful woman came and traded their candy for useless money." they said in unison, then looked at each other.

        "We're so cute!" Prince Jessie cooed.  Princess Anna nodded in agreement, kissing Prince Jessie on the cheek. But the squire wasn't in the mood for this.

        Squire Ruchi was furious, so furious that she was convinced that her head was about to explode like a bottle of shaken Pepsi. She remembered all the times that Jessie had said: "anger helps your blood flow", but Ruchi didn't think there was anything positive of feeling like your head was on fire. She could almost feel steam coming out of her ears, and she could see a faint tint of red wherever she looked. The candy-stealer was definitely greedy, and their target was definitely her.

        "Tall beautiful woman, tall beautiful woman..." Squire Ruchi muttered, thinking while pacing around along the fallen row of pumpkins. It was obvious who the thief was.

        There was only one slouchy yet tall woman in Emililand, and of course the Emililandese would call her beautiful. She remembered a fight between her and the sneak thief that had happened that morning over what bands were good and which were stupid.

        Squire Ruchi was angered. Nothing about this was funny. She would get revenge, revenge even sweeter than the candy she was missing out on. The only thing was-- Squire Ruchi didn't know what the plan was. But when she figured it out, Queen Emily would be destroyed.