Destiel Fanfictions

"I love you"

A/N

Didn't write this one. Found it on tumlblr. In my opinion, it's better than the last one. Hope you enjoy. Thank you. Carry on.

Dean has thought about asking Cas out for a while, but he's been too scared to act on it. He's tired of fooling around. He's tired of waking up alone or having to sneak off. He's nearly forty years old. He's tired of being an asshole. 

He's always kept his distance romantically from Cas. Cas is the kind of guy you take on dates and marry. He's not a one night stand. He's not a quick fling. He's a sweetheart and a keeper. He's the kind of guy Dean wants to wrap up and protect, to shield from all the bad things in the world.

Unfortunately, Dean is one of those bad things. So he keeps his distance. He'll protect Cas, even of his own heart gets torn apart in the process. What is his heart worth compared to Cas's?

Cas stares at Dean. He always has, but there's been something more to those stares lately. He stares a little harder, a little deeper, like he's trying to see through the fog. He doesn't turn away when Dean catches him, but keeps looking. Dean looks, too. He wonders if Cas will ever find ever find what he's searching for, if maybe someday Cas will see the darkness and leave. Dean doesn't even try to hide his dickishness. He never has. Better to disappoint then early than have them leave later.

It's been years and Cas is still here. Maybe the fog Cas is trying to see through is Dean's crassness. Dean just shakes his head. It's silly to hope for someone like Cas to love him. 

Whatever good Dean has in him, he's buried too deep. Some days, he thinks he's squashed it permanently. 

Dean's making burgurs for Sam, Cas, and him, when Cas walks up behind him and says. "There's good in you, Dean Winchester."

Dean laughs; it tastes bitter. "Have you met me?"

"Yes. I cradled your soul in my grace. I rebuilt your body. I stood by your side as you warred with others and yourself."

"Yeah, well, even if you have. I've done shitty things since then. I'm not a good person, Cas. I don't deserve -" He bites back the word, you, swallows it down and buries it deep.

Dean concentrates on the hamburgers. He doesn't want to think about this anymore.

Cas comes up behind him and wraps his arms around Dean's waist.

Dean's breath catches in his throat. His thoughts shudder to a stop.

"I love you," Cas says, and Dean, trying to respond, merely groans out a sob. His body trembles. He does not deserve this.

He is not a good person. 

Cas holds him tighter. He plants a kiss on the space between Dean's shoulder blades.

"I love all of you."

Dean breaks. He twists in Cas's arms and embraces him, buries his face is Cas's neck. 

He doesn't believe it - not yet. But the hope is there, and he clings to it desperately. Maybe Cas really loves him, somehow. 

Maybe someday Dean will be worthy of that love.

"I..." Dean whispers into Cas's shoulder, into that tan trench-coat that seems as much a part of Cas as his bad jokes and shy smile - as his unwavering devotion to Dean. "I love you, too."