Incidentals

Chapter 4

For the rest of the night all we did was watch more movies. Some comedies, action movies, and horror films.  This including Finding Nemo. That was possible the most effort and arguing over a film that I’ve ever been through, but I broke him down. I gloated after obviously, but I could see he didn’t really mind that I won the disagreement. I had to get up three times to make more popcorn, Max always following me to help.

Since my confession, Max has seemed a lot happier. I just have to remember not to ask him about his mom. Otherwise, evil, scary Max will appear, shoving kind Max into the deep corners of his mind.

“What are you thinking about?” Max questions. His face s a little curious, but there’s another emotion playing behind his blue eyes. Worry?

He continues to look at me and I realize that I haven’t answered his question yet. Before I can come up with a response besides ‘ I was just thinking about how I hate you sometimes when your distant’, Max interrupts my thoughts once again.

“You space out a lot don’t you?” He asks with amusement in his voice and a smirk on his lips.

I don’t trust myself to answer in words, so I just nod my head and his smile widens at my  obvious response. His smile makes me feel something in the pit of my stomach.  I look down and touch my chest, wondering if it was just too much popcorn and soda. I’ve never felt something like this before and my mind begins to race, like it usually does, with all of the possibilities of what the feeling of weightlessness means.

Riley walks in, interrupting my awkward moment with myself. I expect her to walk over to me, but she ignores me and goes straight to Max. He glances over at me asking permission to give my dog attention and I nod begrudgingly back. Riley’s face is pure happiness Max rubs her ears.

“Where’s your bathroom?” He asks. His face is turning a light shade of pink and I stifle a laugh at his obvious discomfort.

“Down the hall, third door on your left…” I giggle in reply. He glares at me and sulks out of the room. My dog starts to fall behind, but I am not having that. She is my dog and it is going to stay that way, no matter how cute he is.

“Riley, Stay.” I demand. She looks back to me with a sad, doggy face, but I point right next to my feet and she pouts over and sits there.

“Traitor.” I say aloud and I hear a laugh in response. My head snaps to the side where I see Max leaning against the doorframe.

“Didn’t you have some business to attend to?” I ask with a smug. His face starts to get red and his eyes dart away from mine.

“Why is it so uncomfortable for you to talk about going to the bathroom?” I question with a grin. I notice the uncomfortable air the swept over the room. His starts fidgeting with his fingers and hands, trying to stall his answer.

“Well?” I say with a sharper tone. No more joking around. His eyes meet mine and he opens his mouth, but no words come out, but then they hit me like a freight train.

“I know what happened to you last month,” he rushes the words out, “ and with the details I know, I thought that it might bring..” he gulps as his eyes go everywhere but mine,” bad memories.”

My mouth goes dry and my eyes start to water, but I blink the tears away and bring my head up to look at Max. What I see stops my mouth from saying the harsh words that I’ve been saying all month long. What I see stops all of the lies I had planned to lash onto him.

Max’s eyes are looking straight into mine and all I can see is the sadness sitting there. Not pity like I thought there would be. Just sadness sitting in the pools of his blue eyes. I can’t help myself as I stand and walk over to him and hug him as hard as I can, my hands pulling at his shirt as I bury my head into his chest and my eyes betray me and the hot tears I have been pushing away for the last month fall onto his black t-shirt.

I can’t help the wretched sobs that shake my body as everything I have held back since last month shows themselves. Max carefully picks me up and carries me to my room as I cry, and cry, and cry, over everything. I sob over how all of my friends hate me. How the whole school hates me. I cry over what happened before the break. How I can’t tell anyone what happened. Over everything that is going terribly wrong in my life. And as my body starts to tire of all of my hours of crying and sobbing and sniffling I open my eyes and look straight to Max’s black t-shirt.

I slowly crawl out of his lap, tears falling down my face and sobs still controlling my body, making it jump every time one comes, and I sit and look around my room. Looking at all of the memories that reside here through my murky, blurry eyes. My eyes fall to the top of my desk, to all of my pictures framed or taped to the wall. A few of my dad and the rest of the “family”, some of me as a child, and the ones with my mother.

Every moment my eyes meet hers in one of those pictures, my heart gets a sharp pain and I can’t breath, but I remind myself each time to look at her smile and remember her that way, but it doesn’t help. Max crawls over to me and sits me in his lap and puts his big arms around my body and it helps me a little to relax, but not as much as I am hoping it will.

My clouded eyes continue looking at the pictures until they stop on one of Vicky and I. Instead of more sadness like I suspected, all I feel is anger. Anger towards her and her weakness. Anger for the slutty girl that’s her new best friend. Anger at the fact that when she needed a friend I was her only one, but when I need one she leaves me because she’s too weak.

My vision goes red and I jump from Max’s lap, startling him, but I could care less. I walk quickly to the desk, more like stomp, and I rip the picture from the wall, crumpling in my long fingers. I throw it behind me to my trashcan, not checking to see if I miss. Tears start to pour down my already wet cheeks as I rip every picture of My friends and I off the wall and tear them up and throw them behind me.

I scan my room, now on a small mission. I spot a trophy on one of my many shelves.I walk over angrily and  yank it down, glancing at the description.

“For the Best of Friends”

Cole Moriarti

Love, Vicky

I scream in frustration as I throw it at the door, leaving a large dent in the wood and breaking the trophy in half. I can feel my legs starting to shake, as I slowly slide down the back of the bed to sit on the floor. My knees are brought to my face as I hide myself from the world . Why did I have to have a mental break now?

“I’m sorry Cole.” Max whispers as he slides down next to me. I don’t reply as his arm pulls me to him. I lean and my eyes start to close,my brain and heart too tired to stay awake and cry and think about how my life went to shit in just one week.