When You're Ready (Lauren/You)

14

Your POV

I stood in front of Lauren's apartment door, trying to work up the courage to knock on it.

I didn't text her I was coming, so hopefully she wasn't expecting anyone else.

I brought my hand up, knocking on the door and taking a deep breath. I was about five seconds away from booking it back to the elevator, so she better hurry up and open this door.

"Y/n?" She asked as the door swung open.

"Hi," I said with a nervous smile. "Can I come in?"

"Of course, angel," she said, smiling at me and allowing me to walk in.

At least she was in a good mood. Hopefully I wasn't about to ruin that.

"What's up?" She asked, leading me to the living room where we both sat down on her couch.

I didn't answer the question and I tried to straighten out all the thoughts that were currently flying around in my head.

"Something on your mind?" She asked, placing a hand on my knee.

I felt like I almost fainted at the contact.

"Yea, actually," I admitted.

I was about to have another panic attack and it was not the time for that at all.

"Hey, calm down," she said, turning my head to look at her. "What's wrong?"

I looked into her eyes while trying to slow down my heart rate.

"I need to talk to you about something," I started.

"Anything," she said in her usual, calm tone.

"Okay, remember when we talked about everything that happened and you said that you thought the reason I walked out on you at Stagecoach was because I felt uncomfortable?"

"Uh... yea," she said with furrowed eyebrows, obviously not knowing where the hell I was going with this.

"Well, that's not entirely true..." I trailed off. "I mean, it is partly the reason, but that's not the main reason."

"What's the main reason?" Lauren asked, trying her hardest not to pry but I was beating around the bush.

"Lauren, am I not as obvious as I feel like I am?" I asked, making her furrow her eyebrows. "I feel like I'm the most obvious person in the world, and you still don't get it."

"Y/n, what..." she trailed off.

"Lauren, I fucking like you," I said in an exasperated tone. "I don't just like you either, Lauren I really like you. I like you in a way that friends shouldn't like each other."

Lauren didn't seem as taken back as I thought she would at my confession.

"Y/n-"

"Honestly, I don't know how you didn't see it. Sometimes I'd think you felt the same way about me, then you'd do things like get defensive about the idea of us or fuck around with other people," I cut her off. "I know I messed around with people too, but the only reason I did was because I thought you didn't feel the same way and I wanted to move on."

"Do you still want to move on?" Lauren asked when I finally stopped talking.

"I did," I admitted. "That's why I ignored you for months. I was trying to move on, but then I realized I couldn't. I can't move on because every time I think of my future I still see you in it."

"You do?" She asked with a hopeful tone.

"Yes, and it's exhausting because I still don't know how you feel," I said, hinting at what I wanted her to get to next.

"I wish I would've known all of this months ago," she finally spoke. "Y/n, I like you too..."

I wanted to smile at those words, but I knew she wasn't done.

"...but you just ghosted me for five months."

"I know," I said. "I didn't know what else to do to get rid of my feelings."

"I don't really understand. What are you looking to get out of this conversation?" She asked.

"That depends on how you feel," I said, locking eyes with her.

"I like you, Y/n," she told me, holding my hands. "I just need a little bit to get myself together. You just came back into my life after ghosting me for months."

"I can give you however long you need," I told her. "I'll wait for you, just tell me when you're ready."

"Thank you," Lauren said, standing up.

I followed her lead and walked behind her until we reached her front door.

"Talk to you later," I said as I gave her a hug.

She hugged me back just as tight, placing a kiss on my neck as her hands rubbed my back.

I sent her a small smile as I left the apartment.

That's not how I expected that to go at all.