andromeda // matty healy au

Never Meant

Frances said that at 1:30, I could take my break.  I was starting to feel better after I had spoken to her about my issue.  Sitting in the staff room, I pulled out a sandwich.  Black forest ham, lettuce, cheese and mustard.  Not too extravagant, but my body needed fuel.  Opening the staff mini fridge, I pulled out my cellphone and noticed I had a message from Matty.

I'm so mad.

I started to sweat.  Did George tell him about me?  Did Matty figure my secret out by himself? Am I just overanalyzing this message?  I couldn't tell, but the only thing I knew for sure what that I lost my appetite.  I put my sandwich back in the refrigerator and then pulled up a chair at the table.

Shaking, I did my best to form a reply.  I decided to assume that I didn't know why he was upset, even though I could guess it was about me masquerading as his strip-club love interest.

Oh no... what happened?

After about 10 minutes of waiting, I gathered that he was no longer near his phone.  He might be doing the lunch shift at work.  I sat anxiously but this time I couldn't tell how long I was sitting in my chair.  It was only until Frances knocked on the door three times that I snapped out of my daydream.  I poked my head out and saw a big group had just come into the café.

"Thanks, hun, would you help out this group please?"  She gave me a smile and helped a man in a suit get his coffee and muffin at the cash register.

I waved the party of eight over to tables that we had pushed together.  They took up a fair amount of the café floor.  I hoped that they wouldn't cause too much fuss in ordering but, I also thought that if they did, it would help make my shift go by faster.

-

Once my shift was over, I walked home.  It was warm, but a cool breeze made it so that a jacket was a necessity.  Grabbing the handle of my building, I noticed a familiar head of curls driving a familiar car.  It turned into the side driveway, to the back lot, and I decided to follow it.

After he had parked, Matty slammed his door, but got his shirt caught in the middle of the slam.  It made him more furious, as he turned red and then opened and re-slammed his door.  Grunting as he stepped away from his vehicle, but when he picked up his head and saw me, he stopped in his tracks.

"Uh, hey..."  we said at the same time.  That made it even more awkward.

"What happened?"  I dared myself to ask.

"I thought we were gonna get that gig, Celeste."  His shoulders slumped, and his body crumpled under the weight of his despair.  "I'm gutted."

I was relieved that his sadness was not anything that I had done, but I felt for Matty.  He and his mates had been putting in a lot of time practicing and to hear that they had fallen short of a live show was heart-wrenching.

"I'm sorry, Matty.  I know that you guys worked har-"  I was cut off by his booming voice and figure advancing to me.

"I'm just so frustrated.  I know we would have suited that venue, I sat down and talked with that lady and she said we were great.  How come we never got a chance?"  He stopped in front  of me, looked me in the eyes and continued, saying to himself, "I even gave that lady a share of my stash.  Fucking ungrateful business parter."

I chased after him, feeling like I couldn't leave him stewing in rage.

"Matty, there will be other gigs, I'm sure.  I've heard you practicing and I know you guys are great."  I did my best to sound supportive, but not make his complaint feel insignificant because I thought 'something better was coming'.

"Thanks, Cel," he grumbled, not believing my words.

We walked in silence, to the main entrance, up three flights of stairs, as we've done many times before, until we parted ways at the top floor.

"I'm being let go."  Our backs faced each other, but what he said was enough to make me turn back to him.

"From the Italian place?"  I asked.

"Yeah, me and George were told by the owner today,"  he said.  "They wanted to make it more of a family-owned and operated place because they can't afford to keep everyone.  I'm just mad because they didn't really give us enough time to find another job."

"When is your last shift?"  I was scared to ask.

"One week from today.  He said if we wanted, we could work more hours to earn some extra cash before we leave."  Matty seemed more upset about losing his job as a waiter than he did when he was turned down by the club gig.  I could tell that he and George really enjoyed working there together and it must have stung to have been turned down by two jobs.

I walked across the corridor with outstretched arms and pulled Matty into a warm hug.  My hands rubbed up and down his spine, but his were limp at his sides.  He didn't quite know what to do with them yet, but he slowly raised them onto my hips.

"It'll be alright."  I whispered into his ear.

"I've got to go," he pulled away and sniffed.  He didn't meet my eyes.  "I've got a bottle of wine that I think I'm going to open... and maybe finish."

"Can I check up on you later this evening?"  I asked.  "Frances gave me a brownie recipe that I want to try."

He offered me the biggest smile he could muster and gave a small nod.  His hair hung low as he still refused to make eye contact with me, and with that he opened the door to his flat and vanished.

I turned towards my apartment, but before I stepped inside, I could hear The Smiths' album Meat is Murder being played loudly, and the unmistakable chords of their opening track The Headmaster's Ritual reverberated through the building.

Almost immediately, I heard a phone ring through his door.  He greeted the caller with a "Hey, Mr.Perry," and then turned down his melancholic, introspective tunes.