E N J O Y Y O U R L I E | JIMIN FF

Ch. 5-Till Dead Due Us Apart Part 1

~after two years~

I woke up again in 3:00AM from the same dream about Jimin being trapped by his lies. That's happening from when I started dating him until now. It's been two years since we were dating and only a week since we got married. We were moving into a new house.

"What are you watching there?" Jimin asked as he slides himself between my back and the sofa. He snugly sat me in between his legs and grabbed me in a back hug.

"Oh just our wedding vows." Tears start to well up and I began to fan my eyes in an attempt to not cry.

"You're so cute!" He started to attack me with kisses all over my face. Muffled, playful screams from me only encourage him further.

I know it was hard for the both of us.

"So this is it, huh?" I held a box filled with my clothes as I take a good look around our new house.

“Yup!” Jimin sets his box down and grabbed my box too to set it down. Confused, before I can question, he picked me up.

“What are you doing Park Jimin?!” You screamed as he headed for our bedroom. He plopped me down onto the mattress with a thump.

“We’re never gonna finish unpacking if you do this every single time we bring a box in!” I yell at him while attacking him with a pillow.

He grabbed the pillow I was swinging at him and thrown it to the floor. He kept creeping closer and closer, pinning me to the back frame. “I just can’t help being so in love with you.”

Both our stares are connected in a deep gaze. Suddenly, I grabbed the pillow underneath me and hit him in the face as hard as I can. Dazed, I took the opportunity and run. He chased me throughout our new home as giggles echo off the walls.

[after a few days]

He sighed tiredly.

“What’s wrong?”I asked him.

He dropped the letter on the table. “Oh nothing. Just the bills again.”

I grabbed his back in a tight embrace. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Yeah….I hope so.”

After that day everything became a routine...

The red clock blinks 7:00 am. I hit snooze in an attempt to catch up on some much needed sleep.

7:10 am. I have to get up - showering and getting ready for work.

7:40 am. I give Jimin a peck on his cheek as he stirs in the bed. I leave.

8:00 pm. I return from work. I shower, prepare dinner and eat it alone in silence.

1:00 am. I wait for Jimin to come home from his work.

I work morning and afternoon shifts. Jimin works afternoon and night shifts. Not enough time to talk and too tired to even touch each other. Time - if only there was enough of it.

We fought a lot too....

The door creaked open and for the first time I didn’t greet Jimin. He’s stopped asking why I was up, why I haven’t slept. He knew I wait for him everyday.

“Why didn’t you take the trash out?” I ask him.

“It’s just the trash. Calm down!” He defended himself.

“I’ve asked you several times Jimin! I have to keep reminding you! And that’s not the only thing.” My volume rises to a level I didn’t intend.

“Stop nagging me! You’re not my mother!” He complained and dismissed me.

I followed him, too stubborn to give up. “But you do nothing around the house to help! I can’t take care of this place myself!”I yelled.

“Well I’m working. The bills don’t pay themselves.” He sharply added.

I froze in my spot. “You’re acting like I don’t work. And It’s not like you work all day. What do you even do during the day?” You question with a suspicious tone.

He stopped in his tracks, eyes narrowing and brows furrowing. “Are you suggesting that I’m cheating on you?”

You give a sigh. “No….I don’t know! At least I can come home before midnight!”

“Are you kidding me? It’s not like I can chose my shifts Y/N!” He brought his hand up to his hair and starts pacing. “This is ridiculous! I can’t believe we’re fighting over taking out the trash!”

“It’s not just about taking out the trash!” I cried furiously.

You hurt me with your words...

“You know Y/N? I love you but sometimes I wonder if I’m in love with you.”  I stiffened at his sharp words.

My prolonged silence made him realize his mistake. “Wait! I didn’t mean that.” But words cannot be taken back, once they’ve been said.

“You should go, Jimin.” I managed to speak with cracks in my voice. I turned, walking away before he sees me crying.

“Wait. No! I didn’t mean that!” He chased after me and grabbed my arm.

I shaked it off and with the strongest voice I could manage - I shouted at him. “Go!”

That night, Jimin crashed at Taehyung’s and I sobbed into my pillow, alone, in an empty, cold bed.

But I’m sorry I couldn’t bring myself to tell you...

I rushed to the toilet, barely making it and vomiting out my breakfast and bile. My lips were cracked, my mouth tastes rancid, my insides felt sore and empty. As I leaned against the toilet bowl, a thought fluttered through my mind. Pregnancy? I imagined Jimin’s surprised expression and his excitement...

I decided to keep it a secret and I scheduled a doctor’s appointment myrself. But everything shattered when instead of saying the word baby, the doctor said cancer.

[after work]

I stumbled out of the office, almost tripping over my feet. I felt nauseated, stomach threatening more bile up and my mind has been smashed to bits. Only lingering fragments of conversations stay - the rest disintegrates.

“Do you need us to call someone for you?”

“Hello. How can I help you?”

“-weather we’re having today….winter is comi-.”

“I’m sorry to inform you….Yes, it’s terminal…….-chemotherapy is a great way to slow it down…call you….see you so-”

I’m sorry I hid it for so long.

I cried in the shower. I cried myself to sleep every night while muffling the sounds with the blanket. I cried until my eyes went dry and I could no longer cry. Everything was gray.

“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked with a worried expression on his face.

I don’t want to die. “Huh?” I was dazed, lost in thought. “Oh…no…nothing.” I meekly answered, worried he’ll see right through my lies.

He glances at me for a second. “You’re looking a little paler these days. You should go to the doctor.”

Internally, I sigh of relief. “Oh…yeah. Okay.”