The Scars Left By Memories Of Time

Chapter 22: "Love & Loss"

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RECAP:
"Why do I have a mark on my wrist?"
"It represents something special"
"Something special?"
"With someone? Who?"
"I love you mommy"
"I love you too mija"
"Darren, long time no see!"
"Why? Dude, she needs to know. She deserves to know. Especially the truth."
"But you can't control that, sooner or later she'll find out eventually. Knowing her she has her ways on finding things out even if it doesn't seem like it."
"Oh shut up, I ain't that short!"
"Crap, did she hear us?"
"We need to talk"
"About what?"
"It's about our conversation from earlier."
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Darren

I looked at her suprised and averted my gazed at her, continuing what I was doing. She gave me a sigh as she continued.

"Darren, I know it hasn't been easy these past few months and fate has took a toll upon us all but please explain to me... tell me why are you doing this all over again?"She states as she entered the kitchen, leaning on the counter.

"It's because I have too... To protect her by harm's way. Look I may not be perfect but I'm not only her friend but I'm also her personal guard"

She had a scowled expression in her face as she rolled her eyes at me.

"Tch, oh please don't give me that guard and friend type of bullcrap again! You love her until now. You love her since the day that you told me about her, look I may be slow at times but I'm not dumb. I know you, Darren."She replied trying to keep her voice down.

I looked at her as I averted my gaze again.

"Why don't you tell her the truth? Tell her what you really feel except for bottling it all up–bottling not only what you feel but the pain you're feeling right now? Do you know doing that won't do anything good."

I can't....

"I've been thinking about it and I've decided that..."trailing off as a long pause of silence engulf us as she waited expectantly for my answer.

"That I'm letting her go"

As those words came out of my mouth, Lianne's face expression dropped as if she was processing what I've just said.

"Wait what?!"She exclaimed loudly as she covered her mouth and peered out of the doorframe, sighing for no one heard her before she looked at me as she repeated her response from earlier – a tad quiet.

"I'm letting her go, Lianne... I'm letting Arya go..."I said looking down as I turned around, gripping the edge of the counter tightly.

"What...?! But why, Darren?"She asked suprised.

"Why...? Because I love her"He tearfully replied.

"If you love her then why are you letting her go?"

"It's because she's better off when I'm gone in her life.."

"Darren..."

"I've lost her already... because of me, both of us had to carry a heavy burden. That's the reason, that's the exact reason why me and her can never be together."

"So now you're the one who's going to cut those ties? Aren't that a bit one-sided? You, planning her future for her? Do you think that she would want that?"

"It's for the best."

"If you've ever love her in the first place you shouldn't give up on her but fight for her and not this way."

I faced her as I gave her a sad smile.

"That's the problem, how can I fight for her with a battalion when I can't fight the battalion of demons at war in me"I state as she was left speechless.

"She was always been my sun. Bright, cheerful, full of life and I have always been the moon. Dim, hidden and only shine because of her"

"Heck, even from the chaos of her soul there flowed beauty while I...I remained... even from every inch of my soul all you can find is a pure pit of darkness where no sign of beauty or light flows."

"She's... she's better off without me in her life because... I'm–"

The exact reason why she's unhappy...

***

Lianne

Better off without you?! Oh you're so dead wrong!

"Oh so what, you're just going to leave again, without even saying goodbye not even to her? For goodness sake Darren, you did that the day she woke up until the day she finished her therapy. Haven't you thought that's enough?"

"Look, she'll be fine without me".

"How do you know? You've never seen her without you but I have! And it breaks my heart to see her that way."I replied distraught, clenching my hands into a fist.

"I may be used to you leaving and all but I don't care about that, you have something here. You have a family. We are your family. Even if it's not by blood we're here for you. All of us are."

No words were uttered from him.

"Even if she doesn't remember about anything about what have happened between you both. Verily, I know the mind can forget anything for just a second or a minute but what's in here.." She said as she placed her hand on her chest.

"The heart can never forget... even whatever you do or how many times it gets hurt it forgives, it heals and remembers. Yes it's true, she may have no memory of you but the heart felt memories you both made and did, has made a mark in there, somewhere"

"You haven't lost yet, in fact you were given another chance so be thankful for that"I replied as he gave me nod.

Our conversation continued for a bit as minutes passed later, we returned back to the living room with the refreshments he made and proceeded from mingling to the others like nothing had happened back at the kitchen.

Time by time, we shared a few glances at each other while he was talking and laughing with her. The way he looks at her, I can't say that I don't feel a tad jealous about them but I do. Who wouldn't be? I'm basically in the same exact position as he is. Hiding our feelings. Though the difference is, is that I don't have to hide it cause he's completely aware but dismisses it because he still loves her, the girl he can't take his grasp off.

It's quite strange, isn't it? How love works?

It can start a war or can end one, it can give you strength of heroes or leave you powerless, you can be snared with a glance but no force can compel it to stay.

Though as cliché as it sounds or not, it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all – the pain may never be completely gone but at least you know that you can love someone truly.

Just like how I loved him..

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