Generally, I consider myself a nice person. In fact I pride myself on being able to get on with everyone I meet. However the circumstances are a little different when your grades and reputation are dependent on your ability to give an Oscar worthy performance.
I’ve never been much of an actress, this point was proven in fourth grade when I choked in our school production of the ‘Cat in the Hat’. I was the fish and somehow managed to choke on my one line but don’t worry I found it; on the first row of the audience.
I spent the whole of last night researching fun facts that I could share with Harley about ‘the opportunities our school had to offer’.
The kid must have been important because I was excused from all my lessons for the day. This was to make sure Harley felt comfortable in his new learning environment.
“ Harley, just remember if you need anything you can always ask me.”
Harley stopped fiddling with his fingers and gave the fakest grin ever, “ Thanks Ben, I look forward to experiencing what Yatendale has to offer."
I snickered at the comment, “It’s not like there’s a lot.”
When Harley isn’t look Mr. Derhover gave me the most menacing look he could muster before he raised his arms in an angled v with one foot lifted and pointed straight, he then mouthed a few words which I don’t seem to register but it’s fine, its clear what he’s implying.
New Pom-poms.
How dare he?
Someone better hold me back before I proceed to ‘bust a cap in his ass’ because quite frankly never in my life have I fantasized about strangling someone so many times and in such great detail.
I, as the president of the Raise Awareness group at our school have devoted many of my free periods and lunches to raising awareness about serious issues that affect our nation.
And the idea of letting the funds that my fellow activists and I raised go to pom-poms makes me want to gag.
“ Hey does your school have a vegan menu?” Harley softly whispered as we sat through HIS history lesson.
Vegan? He’s a vegan? Really? Him?
“ I don’t know.”
“ Then check.” He whispered back clearly mocking my tone, I glared at him one more time before running out of the classroom, before you freak out don’t worry it’s one of the perks of being Harley’s lapdog; being able to go anywhere without a pass.
I marched to his office and began softly knocking. No one answered but I heard rummaging so I take a risk and prop the door open.
Then there’s Derhover, getting quite handsy with one of his secretaries. Wow, this is disgusting and illegal. I think.
So rather than cock-blocking and interrupting their intimate spit sharing session, I whip out my good-old cellular device and begann filming. I made sure to zoom in and out so anyone can see that this is definitely taking place in his office.
“ Stop biting my lip so hard Ben.” The red head sayid, wrapping both arms around Derhover’s bald shiny head as she pulled herself onto his lap.
She then proceeded to take off his blazer, well that’s my cue, “Maybe if you turn the other way, it’ll be easier.” They both froze and diverted their attention to me.
Time to embrace the inner actress and act like the biggest, most manipulative bitch ever and this time I better not choke.
“ You know if I showed this…” I said, purposely dangling the phone in arms reach, making sure to enunciate every word clearly, “…to anyone, both of you would be…” I traiedl off dramatically and my sentences have the desired affect.
“ That shouldn’t be necessa- ”
“ Shut it Hitler, why was I chosen to be Quinnston’s lapdog?” I chuckled as he avoided my intense direct eye contact.
“ Because he specifically asked for you.”
" So what, one slightly more intelligent students comes and has a list of demands and you're just gonna give in?" I think this asshole needs to empty his diva cup, which principle in their right mind would let someone, a student tell them what to do with their school?
I continued my rant making sure to wave my hands up and down obnoxiously, just for dramatic effect.
Mr. Derhover stayed where he was, unfazed by my 'tantrum'.
" So, you're just going to -"
He raised his right palm to silence me, and I take note of the pale patch of skin where his wedding ring should be.
" Listen, Mr. Quinnston is extremely bright and you know what happens to geniuses, right? ". He pronounced every word with extreme care as if he is talking to an infant.
What happens to smart people? I don't know. They become Hugh Heffner? Can you believe he had an IQ of over 150?
I shaked my head, slightly curious.
" Geniuses, psychopaths and sociopaths share the same tendencies. One day that boy will become psychotic, it's practically inevitable."
Would you like to report @Harleyquinnston?
DOUBLE YEs.
