What You Mean To Me

Trey

What happens when your dreams come true? Well one night mine did. I had sex with the two people I loved most in the world, but my world changed after that. It's not that I hate change, but is all change good for us?

The night was magical, absolute magic. There is a phrase that goes lips, teeth and tongue and I'm telling you when all of those are on your body at once, it will blow your mind, especially when its on your nipples. Two sets of hands caressing your body, oh, there are shivers down my body just thinking about it. But I think I should leave most of it to your imagination rather than say it all.

In case you're wondering how did my friend Jenn do that night well, she was amazing and felt amazing too. No, there was no intercourse from us men, but we did raid her toy chest, and there was plenty of oral going around for all. One big difference is taste, women taste quite different than men, and Ryan seemed to enjoy giving her oral more than me, but since Jenn's gotten quite good at it (since we often don't have regular partners) I didn't mind the "circular" oral.

Alas, it was a night never to be repeated. There were some good things that came from that night, like Ryan, Jenn and I have regularly started talking again. But it definitely changed Jenn. My Jenny decided she needed an all girl apartment and is now looking for a fem roommate, leaving me on my own. I've never lived on my own. Its a scary world and I feel like stomping my feet and crying. I hate being a typical sissy sometimes but its what I am.

The other thing that's driving Jenn crazy is that although Ryan hasn't started a relationship with me, he's at the apartment all the time. And all he does is talk about Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. I know there is no hope in hell that Jenn and Lisa will make up but Ryan doesn't know Jenn like I do, well, he did miss all the anger and tears back then...

Years have gone by and we grow older, changes happen in life. I'm growing up and finally becoming an adult as my Jenny likes to say. I don't know, I loved having her around and hitting the bars with her and now, she's dropped a bombshell on me. Another change, another time to grow and adapt and I want to stamp my feet and throw a hissy. Tell her she can't go... but I know she needs to, she's found her happiness finally. Jenn is in LOVE and is moving away.

Ryan isn't happy either, it's right across the country so we know the chances of all of us ever being together again have truly slipped away. I've told him over and over, there's no chance of Jenn forgiving Lisa's betrayal. Ryan has said that Lisa has no clue what truly happened and just like him, never understood our feelings. But we in the community know what happens when you fall in love with a straight person, you're doomed to failure from the start. Besides, that was 15 years ago, it's time to say goodbye and let it go. Jenn has, she's moved on and found love, finally.

I'm still single but I'm happy. My friends tell me I'm promiscuous but eh, who cares? I play safe and if I'm meant to have a regular partner, he'll show up. When Ryan doesn't have a play friend of either sex, we do the deed. I keep telling myself I'm no longer hooked on him so whatever makes us happy works. He's learned that size isn't about being fragile, its about mindset. That night we played, the three of us, it was like a switch was thrown in his brain, and he became fearless to match his outside. I think he will always be my one and only love but I'm never going to tell him. 

Having your heart broken once is enough from the same person...

Now, when we both have partners, we both treat each other with respect and equality and we never bring another person in when we play. We know it won't be the same without Jenn. One day, I know Ryan will tell me he's in love and getting married, because he would make a good dad. I'll deal with those feeling when that day comes.

I never expected this day to come but it's Jenn leaving day and we're having a party. Ryan did something unexpected. His partner is Lisa. Lisa knew the party was for Jenn and still came. Lisa looks like a princess but the look on her face is priceless as Jenn and her partner, Christal kiss every time we clink the glasses. Why didn't Ryan tell her? How could he side swipe her like this? Oh, I smell trouble before the evening is over. Lisa's drinking wine really fast. Alcohol and emotions don't mix well. Just like always, Lisa's caught the look of sorrow on my face and knows I feel for her and I wonder why she's so angry at me. Does she really hate me that much?