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"What happens if I'm bad at this?!" I cried as I watched Angel put the finishing touches on the crib. "Maybe I should have explored my options better. Maybe another family would have given her a better life then I'm going to. I mean her dads in jail and I'm not exactly the most stable person." I was beginning to ramble as I paced the babies new room. This all felt so real now...I mean it was real the minute I saw the two little pink lines. It was real when I had that first ultrasound. Fuck it's been pretty damn real for the past 8 months, but until this moment the single mom thing wasn't weighing so heavy on my shoulders. Now it was. "I can't do this alone Angel."
"It's a good thing you aren't alone then. I'm here. Leena and your dad will be here. Damn Genevieve you have a whole club of men who you could say jump to and they would ask how high. You are not alone. I will be the father figure to that baby as long as you need me to. Okay." Angel wiped away the tears that were cascading down my face his voice soft and smooth. "I love you. And I'm here until you push me out the door. Chances are I'll even come back after that. Now dry those tears you don't need them."
—
I couldn't help but sneak into Sophia's room after she fell asleep. She looked so peaceful like she didn't have a care in the world, and really if I thought about it she didn't. There was so much guilt floating around my head as I gathered the dirty clothes off the floor and headed to the laundry room. Maybe I should call EZ and tell him. It wouldn't be long before he realized for himself anyway. A small knock on my door startled me. Most people texted me to know they were coming especially when it was past 8:00.
"EZ why are you here?" I looked him over moving aside so he could come in. "Are you okay?"
"I just needed to see you. Talk to you. I don't know maybe I'm overstepping. Your boyfriend home?" This would have been the perfect time to tell him no I don't have a boyfriend. I chose to lie instead.
"He's away at work." EZ nodded knowingly fidgeting with his hands. "You shut me out. I couldn't wait around for a man who didn't even want to see me."
"I thought it would be easier that way." He sighed standing up to go look at the photos on the wall. There was a photo of us at graduation staring into each other's eyes with such admiration. I missed those days. "He's a lucky guy."
"EZ there's something I need to tell you." I walked closer to him watching as his eyes zoomed in on a photo of Angel holding Sophia as a newborn. I saw the cogs turning in his head.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me. Angel. You and Angel?!" He pointed at the photo looking betrayed his voice low and angry. "What the hell Genevieve?"
"You don't get to talk to me like that!!" I hissed. "You through me away. Broke up with me by taking me off the visitors list. Whoever I chose to be with after that is none of your damn business. He was there for me when you weren't!"
"So you had a kid with my brother. To what spite me?" I wanted to argue with him to tell him he knew nothing but I couldn't. I couldn't look at him when he was like this.
"Get out of my house!" I demanded.
"Mamá!" Sophia's voice stopped us both in our tracks. "Daddy has my bunny," she pouted reaching up for me.
"Sophia mi amor I'll call him and get him to bring it by okay." I would correct her when EZ was gone. When my baby wasn't half asleep. For now I wanted EZ to feel betrayed. The way I had. Clearly he wouldn't listen even if I corrected him. Once something was in his head it stayed there.
"You should go." I turned to EZ again. "I have to put her back to bed."
"She looks like him." EZ softened his voice slightly.
"It's the eyes. She has the Reyes eyes." I walked away my heart pounding a mile a minute. She looks like you you idiot. I heard the door shut as I tucked Sophia back into bed. I was going to have to call Angel and explain before EZ got to him. Angel was going to be pissed if I didn't.
