Husband Material

The Dress

 I was early for the first time. I sat down awkwardly in the lobby of the bridal dress fitting shop, jiggling my leg nervously. A woman wearing a pantsuit approached me, holding out her clipboard. "Are you Mia Thomas?" she asked, politely.

"Um, no," I clarified. "But I am her maid of honour, so I'm just waiting for her." The glass door of the shop opened, and in walked Mia and her mother. "That's them," I told the woman.

"Lovely," she gushed, appraising the bride to be, her eyes lingering on Mia's lithe figure and golden locks. She walked towards Mia, holding out her hand cordially. "I'm Lindsay, I'll be your consultant today."

I trailed behind as Lindsay led our small group towards the dress rack warehouse behind the storefront. I was hit very suddenly by how white everything was. It was overwhelming. Mia seemed thrilled though, immediately spotting a style that she liked. She, her mother and Lindsay began chattering about what she was looking for. Something about a full skirt, silk, and strapless. I didn't really follow along in the conversation. My eyes drifted over the dresses. I let my fingertips slip over the different materials.

Silk: smooth and cool to the touch. Lace: intricate and floral. Tulle, satin, brocade, cotton. Ivory, egg-shell, alabaster, beige, cream. It was ridiculous how many options there were and yet how they all seemed to look the same to me.

Eventually, Lindsay yelled for a clerk help to transport three different dresses with her to a fitting room. The room was smaller than the ones on "Say Yes to The Dress", but it appeared larger with all the mirrors. I sat down beside Mia's mother on the silver ottoman, and waited as Lindsay helped Mia into the dress. I heard from behind the dressing curtain as Mia complained about the multitude of laces. Already a warning sign; if it wasn't easy to get into, it probably wasn't the one.

Two minutes later she emerged, it seemed as though she was waddling. With help she stepped up unto the pedestal in the middle of the room. I could already tell it was wrong. It was asymmetrical, being shorter in the front than in the back. It had an empire waist, flowing into the poofier skirt at the bottom. It seemed that the only thing on point was that it was strapless. It only took Mia a four second glance in the mirror to shake her head. Lindsay asked if she wanted to try it with the veil before they put it away. But she shook her head more definitively.

"Okay," Lindsay said carefully, after glimpsing Mia's downcast face. "Its only one dress, don't get discouraged."

Mia gave a brave nod and stepped down from the pedestal, and waddled back to the dressing curtain. About 6 minutes later she returned, this time wearing a strapless, silk, a-line. She looked it over, spinning slowly and cranking her head around to see it from the back. Lindsay and her mother gushed about how beautiful she looked.They tried on the veil. Her mother seemed pleased, and Mia definitely looked like a bride. But, she didn't look like Mia. She smiled, but I could tell that she didn't think it was the one.

She turned and looked at me. "Jo?" she asked in a very small, pleading voice above the compliments of the other two women.

"I couldn't say, Mia." I admitted hesitantly. I knew that I wasn't exactly an expert in the dress department, considering I only ever wore them to church and avoided them on all other occasions.

"Yes you could," she said, "I invited you here for a reason; you're brutally honest."

"Okay," I remarked, "it's a nice dress, it seems to fit you well. But...it's just not you. It's too plain, not elegant enough."

"And?"

"And you're a dancer so you have no boobs. So, the straplessness just accentuates that fact even more."