Husband Material

Jacob

The previous line was a lie. I am romantic and poetic in some ways. Though my dream has always been to tie the knot and get on with it, I've always wanted to be wooed. I've always wanted that nice, spontaneous first date. I love the idea that two people notice each other, one way or another- through mutual friends or circumstances. I love that there is a secrecy and shyness about flirting and making intentions known. I love (and hate) the uncertainty of it all, the fact that genuine feelings are involved.

That is why, right off the bat, I'm going to tell you that dating sites and apps are horrifying to me. Where is the reserved interest and polite testing of the waters? No, dating sites are brazen and bold; they base a foundation for love off of a headshot and a 40 word bio. But this is all very hypocritical of me to say, because I have used a dating site before.

It was my twentieth birthday. Mia and Elizabeth had come to surprise me at my university for lunch. What had started out as light conversation had become deep discussions over grilled cheese sandwiches and coffee in a booth in the cafeteria. I was sipping on coffee, trying to wake myself up after a previous all-nighter studying for midterms. Mia had been telling me about how hers and Nick's relationship was going. It was in the early stages, maybe three months old. I was happy for them, I guess. But I was also tired, and a little depressed, the way that you typically get when you're only mid-way through the semester and you're suddenly a year older. I offhandedly said, "I don't think I'm actually capable of being loved."

Now, if you have ever been friends with girls, you know they never let you get away with saying stuff like that. Try saying, "I'm fat" to a girl friend and they'll come to your self-esteem's rescue in two seconds flat and say "no, you're skinny!". Or, attempt to say "nobody loves me!" and they'll aggressively shower you with hugs and screams of "but I love you!". The moment I said "I don't think I'm capable of being loved", Elizabeth and Mia immediately began protesting.

"That's not true!"

"We love you!"

"Some day somebody incredible is going to fall in love with you!"

"Boys are blind if they aren't falling at your feet!"

I smiled weakly, and grumbled, "but I've never even been on a date, what does that say about me? What's wrong with me?"

"Absolutely nothing," they both cried out. The more you carry on with the self-pity thing, the more aggressive and insistent girl friends get about convincing you that you're pretty, smart, funny, and perfect. Their determination to make you believe these facts is quite astounding.

"I have an idea!" cried Elizabeth. She pulled me up out of my seat. Being as lethargic as I was, she was basically dragging me.

"Where are we going?" I mumbled, my feet scrambling to keep up with her. Mia was following behind, carrying my schoolbag.

"We're going to your apartment."

"But I have class in twenty minutes. I don't have time."

"And what if you skip class? What will happen then?"

"The world will implode probably." I replied sarcastically. The truth was, it was my birthday and I really, really wanted to blow off my classes. I protested, very weakly, and eventually they convinced me that I actually could skip my lecture in "Philosophy in The Simpsons" at least once.

I unlocked my door, and we flopped on to my galaxy bedspread. Elizabeth requested my laptop. Hiding the screen from me, she began typing something in. Mia started giggling as she read the entry into the search bar.

"What is it?" I asked curiously. They both shared a sly grin.

Elizabeth turned the laptop screen towards me. The website was called "Ruth and Boaz.com", and I recognized it as the top Christian dating website. "No, no, no!" I began insisting, "Dating sites are awful inventions, and this is ridiculous!"