What If?

Chapter Two

It's not your fault.

See, abuse comes in many forms. Some people abuse your trust. Your kindness. Your loyalty. Your heart.

Sometimes, we can't see the abuse when it's right in our face because we think, "it can't happen to me."

Abuse, can happen to anyone.

It's so easy to blame yourself and make excuses for other people. But please understand, it's not you. Abuse happens everywhere, every day.

It doesn't matter about your education, skin colour, gender. Abuse can happen to anyone.

And you know what else?

It's not your fault.

Even though they make it seem like it's you, even though they may point fingers at you, they never take responsibility for their own actions.

This is another trick of an abuser.

They invalidate your feelings. They treat you like your stupid. They play mind games, they manipulate you, they gaslight you, they make you question your own memory and sanity.

This is not love. Love and fear don't go hand in hand. If you have to walk on eggshells, that's not love.

If they want you to feel sorry for them all the time, that's not love.

If you can't be yourself around them, that's not love.

It can be so hard to get out of this toxic environment, but you have to look within and find the courage to stand up. The courage to walk away from someone that is no longer serving you.

When you summon the courage to stop serving someone who is not serving you, when you stop being loyal who's not being loyal to you. If you lose someone that had lost you ages ago. That is not a loss. It's a gain.

You are not a victim. You are a survivor.

You see, sometimes in our lives, we can be in a spot that is causing us pain. But we don't get up and take the pain away because it is not hurting us bad enough yet.

How bad does it have to get before you walk away from what is hurting you?

They may not be a bad person themselves, they're probably just hurt. And, sure we can be compassionate for them, but we can't stay with them. Yes, they had a bad upbringing, but it's not your job to fix them. It's a full time job to fix yourself.

You can't fix them. All your giving them is more permission to abuse you.

You have so much to offer this world. So much courage, beauty, passion, strength.

It's not your fault. But it is your responsibility to move on and get up from what is hurting you.

You can grow.