below the surface

smile

"and you-no way!", cyrus laughed on tj's bed.

"stop! it's embarrassing enough already!", tj said, sharing a similar laugh to cyrus.

"you competed it BEAUTY PAGEANTS.", cyrus said, emphasizing 'beauty pageants' by smacking his hands on the bed. "and won TWICE."

tj grabbed his pillow and gently hit cyrus with it. they both still sat laughing endlessly about tj being 'mr.shadyside'.

"what about you?", tj asked, "any deep secrets you've repressed for years?"

"not really, i'm a pretty open-", cyrus began, before his phone rang. he hit answer.

tj sat with his hands in his lap as cyrus answered the phone call.

tj only caught cyrus' side of the conversation, filled with 'okay' and 'alright', until the final statement on the other end.

"get home now or i'll give you another black eye."

tj's face had fallen into one of shock. did this mean....no, it couldn't. who would hit cyrus? why would they? tj's processing of what had just been said was interrupted when cyrus had got up and went to the door.

"cyrus,", tj said loudly, running in front of the door, "your dad...he...hits you?"

cyrus was silent, with an ashamed gaze burning into the floor beneath him. he hesitated before slowly nodding.

"you can't go home.", tj said softly, "please stay here."

"i can't tj. you heard him.", cyrus said fidgeting with his hands.

"we can tell my parents and they can call the cops. no one deserves to get hit, i don't know why he does it, but it doesn't matter. if you did anything wrong, which i doubt you did, there are countless things he could have done before laying a hand on you.", tj said, assuringly.

"i'm gay.", cyrus paused, lowering his volume, "he hits me because i'm gay."

tj was speechless. just a minute ago they were laughing about tj being in beauty pageants, and now, cyrus was being hit by his homophobic father. maybe now was the time. tj should let him know he wasn't alone, like cyrus had after what rachel put tj through, even though it was indirectly.

"cyrus, there's nothing wrong with you.", tj said stepping forward, "is there anything wrong with me?"

"of course not, wh-why are you asking?", cyrus was breathless from tj's step forward.

"if he made you feel like something was wrong with you for being gay, do you feel like something is wrong with me for being gay?", tj asked, keeping his tone calm, but beneath it, he was enraged. cyrus didn't deserve what he was going through, no one deserves that.

it took cyrus a minute to realize what had just been said, and what tj meant. tj kippen was gay, and he just told cyrus.

"tj...nothing's wrong with you. i really can't stay," he breathed in fighting back tears, "the longer i wait to go home, the worse i'll get it."

tj backed down, he had to let cyrus go, atleast this time. cyrus wasn't the only one fighting back tears, tj had every intention to fill pools with his tears once cyrus had left.

"okay, j-just please text me if anything happens. or if you need someone to talk to.", tj said, shakily. "please be careful."

"i will.", cyrus said calmly.

tj walked over and hugged cyrus, resting his chin on the shorter boy's head, letting a tear fall freely down his face. cyrus squeezed tighter before letting go.

"i'll see you at school.", cyrus mumbled before going around tj and out of the bedroom.

was this all tj and cyrus' lives going to be? countless homophobes who think they know better? rachel and cyrus' dad had one thing in common, they didn't care what the two were, as long as they didn't say anything about it.

tj walked to his bed, letting out oceans of tears. he couldn't believe someone would hurt someone like cyrus. tj would trade anything to take cyrus' pain away. they'd been real friends for a day, but cyrus was different. he got it. tj knew he would, that's why he took the seat next to him, and why he invited him over. his cries got louder as he reminisced on the moments he saw cyrus smile or heard cyrus laugh, because it takes a lot to still be able to smile when you go through something like that.
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cyrus unlocked the front door, bracing himself for the hell he was about to be subjected to.

"where on earth have you been?", his dad screamed, getting up from his recliner.

"i was at a friends house!", cyrus replied.

"don't raise your voice at me!", he shouted as he grabbed cyrus arm and jerked him forward. cyrus winced at the strong grip.

his dad kept putting his hands on him. all cyrus could think was that should have stayed at tj's.

"i don't have to listen to you,", cyrus said, "there's nothing wrong with me."

his dad pushed him, causing him to fall to the floor and smack his head onto the closed door.

"you're a fag, of course there is.", his father said, turning around to sit back down without another word. cyrus just lied there, unsure of what to do now.

all he could do was get up. he pushed himself to sit upright, making his way back to his feet. he walked to his bedroom, dragging his backpack, emotionless.

he tossed his backpack aside, quietly closing his door behind him. he made his way to his bed, curling up and covering himself with a blanket. he felt a buzz in his pocket, prompting him to check his phone.

[instagram: 34tjk34: everything okay?]

cyrus couldn't bring himself to answer, because he knew he'd have to lie. he didn't want to lie to tj, so he didn't. he shut off his phone, placing in next to him, drifting off to sleep. he couldn't even find a way to cry. he felt numb, empty, almost. someone else knew about this, someone who couldn't help him.