through the brimming hole of my fickle heart

stop

a/n: this is kinda related to 'relax', like the feel of it i guess. this isn't really a prequel since eddy has glasses now, but read it however you want. if you want a follow-up please do let me know w

out of character but i wanted to write a scene like this and i have no other fandoms i can write it for so let's give it to breddy lol why not, really really sorry brett and eddy i swear your friendship is precious in itself its just my convoluted mind doing this (and i'm writing to cope)

(im sorry to the zine im really, really trying)

(sorry to my classmates who may see this)

i mean all my crap is ooc anyway who am i kidding

---

The question's thrown out of the blue, when Eddy decides to take a break from his work.

"Brett?"

"Hm?"

"When are you gonna stop that?"

"Huh?" Brett stops scrolling on his phone and faces Eddy from across the table. "Stop what?"

Their eyes meet. Eddy's perk behind his glasses, a glaring contrast to what Brett felt was a laid-back pair of eyes from himself. He's caught on Eddy's feigning casualness, but he heard the tension seeping through his voice, and his eyes retained that curious spark (yes, Brett always tried to catch glimpses of that before things turned for the better, so he knew).

Brett shrugs, pointedly cocking his brow to prompt what do you mean?

But at the very next second, it's beyond magnetic when they search each other's eyes and-

Their gazes lock.

(Brett has always known how comfortable they've grown around each other throughout the years. Whatever proximity and contact he could handle, it felt normal. He's eased into his gaze, almost as if they were just having another conversation.

This seemed different though, since they weren't...talking. It felt a bit weird.)

Eddy swiftly leans back on his chair. Neither dared to break eye contact. (Maybe because they couldn't...though Brett might've wanted to break away. Maybe.) Eddy presses down on the laptop screen, revealing his buttoned-up polo (he teases the highest button before he undoes it, then does the same for three more - probably 'cos of the heat, Brett's wearing a loose shirt himself). Eddy then leans forward, carefully placing his chin on his palm, elbow near the edge of the table. Throughout all this Brett's steeled his jaw and rested both of his arms on the wood's surface, then remained unmoving, careful to maintain his deadpan. (He might laugh at their silently agreed upon silence. Might.)

Eddy's curious gaze gradually became softer, a tiny smirk forming on his lips, and...

(Wait. How did we end up staring at each other?)

(???)

(I think I look confused.)

(He just asked me to stop? Stop what? Staring? I'm only looking now though. I was just going through my Instagram feed?)

(Ah. Fuck. Okay. Huh. How the hell is he this gor - how does he look like that from here.)

(Shit. He looks good...real good. Thank god I helped pick those glasses out. Sorry for forgetting about antireflective though. Why does he seem so into dying his hair sometimes? I don't really want to dye mine, might get damaged or something - or really just nah. Works for him though. Yeah. That's what they say right? True. Am I really gay? What the fuck. This is weird.)

(For God's sake BLINK. There.)

(How to describe whenever your into someone? Into? Oh - alluring? Allured? Drawn to someone. Attractive. Eddy. Well. Wish I could take a photo from here.)

(Can't see his neck - his arms are in the way. Eh, could be worse.)

(He's kinda looking at me like I've grown another head, just realized. What's he even thinking?)

(Fuck me.)

He did not think in those words. In fact, he could barely think straight, let alone form coherent sentences, save for the swears he yelled loud in his own mind. But what he felt with every heartbeat (it was speeding up) and tingling of his skin (he was prickling) was something of that odd sequence, and he buried down the shame of being smitten at what could've been the worst possible time (or just the most unlikely, 'cos how the hell man. Wait - what was Eddy saying again? Oh, right.).

Eddy purses his lips and sighs lowly.

"Nevermind." Then he looks away and gets up from his seat, slowly heading toward the kitchen.

Holy fuck, that was...

He did not know how to describe that, frankly. He instinctively fisted his shirt over his heart, clutching as if in a desperate attempt to protect it. Calm down, it's just him. You see him everyday.

Sigh.

His phone vibrates - it was a Messenger chat from Eddy. He looks over the table with some exaggeration, wanting to see whatever Eddy was doing over there (preparing tea? He can only discern his back with the wrinkled polo shirt, and a sachet being teared open) before he turns on his phone again and taps on the notification, profile picture and all.

You just look cute. Legit

Brett scrunches his eyebrows and squints at his screen, getting even more confused. He turns his head almost impulsively when he hears Eddy's footsteps nearing the table. (Yeah, it was tea. Smells like jasmine.)

"The hell, man? Gross," he snorts. You don't look too bad yourself, to be honest.

Eddy carefully places his cup down on the table and ruffles his hair, slipping into the seat right beside Brett. "I'm seriously getting distracted man."

"Well...I don't know what to do about that. If you think I'm cute then what do I do...?

"Do I stop being cute? It's not like I'd know how to stop though?"

Eddy takes a sip from his cup, but recoils like he's burned his tongue. He murmurs, "...ugh, why did I even make tea anyway?"

Brett looks at him like he's grown another head. Eddy reciprocates.

Lol, he usually makes tea when he's kinda stressed, doesn't he? Something like that.

And well. Brett doesn't really anticipate what Eddy says next, but he should've seen it coming.

Eddy slowly heaves a sigh, raking a hand through his hair. Then gently he mutters, "Just - just. Yeah. Can we kiss? We still don't - really, do that."

Yet there it was.

"I've - kinda wanted to for a while," Eddy adds. "If you're up to it."

No way was he making a show of himself earlier...like an invitation to this. He's buying into it, all right, and he feels another sort of excitement tingling in his stomach, overpowering that ever-lingering anxiety.

Well, he's right there. He can't decline if I just go for it, can he?

Brett stands, faces Eddy completely. In one swift motion he caresses Eddy's chin with both hands, and leans in.

The tea is left untouched and before they know it, it turns cold. However, they couldn't be bothered at all. Brett gets to taste it on Eddy's lips anyway - though to be honest, they'll know the taste of each other is better than anything else they'll have, even though they won't get used to it anytime soon.

No one's stopping them, so it better be sooner than later.

---

late birthday gift. glad i managed to do it :)

ilysm twin...💓💓