Poems [ Vol 2 ] Beneath the Surface

/ golden.

I'm laying on a cloud. On your chest, a tender place to rest my head. On your lap, a comforting space. In your arms, a safe embrace. That Sunday morning the sun shines bright, a golden dream. Sweet treats in the backseat, for you and I. Tunes in the air, Sunday blues everywhere, driving nowhere in particular, taking off without a care.

Presence is divine, an infinite ray of sunshine. The light never divides, and you're the reason why. My partner in crime - I thought, my partner for life. Tell me - why did you lie.

Surface fading. That golden taint once painted, eradicating. It's metallic, turned yellow - rotten, swollen, bloating. A mold, forming, a mold swallowing. Thought to be perfect, that shiny piece was nearly worth it.

But see, our perceptions we believe, only made up by our reality. This world we see, can only be the product of our fantasies. Such ideal circumstances I understand, was only an illusion tied to confusion. Your deception, funny, was never brought to my attention. And here I am fumbling with my perception.

Wasn't clear, what flawed, what went wrong. Escalated to blame - I'm sorry. My bad, my mistake . . . I'm ashamed. Too late to fix, you claim. Wanted you to comply, resist you did. It was pretty sly, that lie. That expression on your tongue, so synthetic, you're pathetic. You're tenderly offending, I'm surrendering.

Blindness driving me off balance. Altering realities, a disoriented psyche questions the truth, questions your rules. You're selfish, I'm apologetic, this fakeness I couldn't take it. A visitor in my mind, can't seem to find my being. I ponder the solution, when in reality a riddle constructed by insanity lacks conclusion. Somehow controlling me, like a puppet on a string. Won't hint at actuality, cause it isn't what I'm told. Pretending to befriending, but really we're just ending.

This puzzle I'm navigating

Picking up the pieces, putting it in place

But they'll never fit

Cause it's shape is somehow fake

Said it's fair game, we're on equal grounds. The one sided puzzle, I believed it was coincidental. Didn't see the bigger picture, the plot that existed, you were too good at making moves and the game became your groove. I think I'm a player, but played, I really was by you.

I stare at that yellow, that dull, sour tint. Molded and darkening, it tarnishes. There is no golden paint, no glistening stain. A trick that surface fabricated, what a deceit, unveiling in the depths of my mind. Gilded it was - the surface scratching off. Never was it golden, never did it glisten.

Guilty in pain, guilty to blame. A fool for you - now I know the truth. Perfect you made me think, was only the innocence you played on me. A poison, you filled my head and I only wound up dead.

A monster you made of me. Contagious, you infected me.

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