Invader Zim x Reader Lemons and Oneshots

•Lemon, Tallest Purple x Reader x Tallest Red, Butting Heads•

Requested by SinBin (Ao3)

(There will be punctuation mistakes, I wrote 3/4's of this while I was tired.)

I was abducted by Zim, well abduct is too much of a gentle word- more like I was kidnapped by Zim and sent to his space alien leaders as a gift. I at first was expecting to be immediately dropped into vast space to suffer a freezing fate as a human popsicle and die, what I didn't expect was the two tall.. very tall alien leaders to start butting heads against each other on who was going to lay their egg in me.

"Look your just not fit for the job Purple your too childish." You could practically feel the eye roll there as he flicked his hand at Purple.

"Oh yeah! Well your- your too snarky! Yeah you heard me snarky!" You could feel the childish snide in his voice as he waved his fist angrily at Red.

Red snorted turning his back to Purple waving his hand at him, "Oh look whose trying to use big words."

I was stuck sitting on Red's bed watching the two bicker non stop, when I was sneaking around trying to escape while they fought I was dragged back but I did get a eavesdrop that they were in during some kind of thing called Swollen Clutch season? I had my theories maybe that meant they were in the rut, a heat seasons- I mean they did mention laying a egg in me.

Though the two bickering with each other was getting so bad to the point their foreheads were touching body in a angry position ready to fight the other, literally snarling at each other baring their teeth.

"Oh Purple I am going to lay an egg in her- I'd fight a Digestor if I had to!" Purple looked a little taken back but snarled with a trill of some kind of noise making Red look extremely insulted.

"Well I'll- I'll fight two Digestors!" Purple held out his only two fingers which I called bluff, these digestor things sounded like a real big deal for them.

Red suddenly reached a hand up gripping Purple's antenna giving it a harsh tug making him cry out in pain, "Stop making up lies to seem impressive! I doubt you'd make it before you even fight them!"

Oh this was about to get physical and not in a good way at all.

Purple lashed out gripping both of Red's antennas at the base tugging them hard making Red shriek and claw at Purple's face only to be punched roughly in the chest- okay maybe I should intervene.

Orrrr not- Red swiftly uppercutted Purple who fell back onto the floor, he stood there with a smug expression lookin down at Purple who made a noise and trill with a click, "Then it's decided, I'm going to lay the egg first." He stuck his tongue out at Purple before turning to face me which by all means I pulled the blanket up covering myself.

"No."

"Human you will come out from hiding and remove your clothing as requested."

"No."

"Human if you come out I'll give you a donut~"

"No."

"I'll get you your favorite earthen food and I'll even try it this time~"

That made me hesitate, I popped up from under the covers staring at Red who was kneeling on the bed over me, he began to smile as he saw me come out of hiding, "You promise?"

He closed his eyes smiling so innocently, nodding, "Of course my dear mate."

I slowly pulled the covers away sitting upright, placing my hand on his cheek, he purred nuzzling my hand his antennas quivering- until I pinched his cheek and pulled it, he yelped loudly wincing and whining, "Can you both for once just listen to me? That's all I ask really that seriously 'is' all I ask. Could you both stop bitching so much and just focus on fucking your wife?"