Life of Comedy

Precious, Little Telki

High school is hard, but I never expected it to be this hard. Middle school was a breeze. I barely had to study! It took me less than 10 minutes to complete my homework. Every teacher was lenient and kind. My parents were proud of me and showered me with love! No one was a pizza-stealing-creepy-pasta meanie. Fun fact, never steal my pizza!...

But now that I'm in high school, everything's just so hard! Teachers put things in our exams that we've never learned about. It's a life-threatening struggle to keep up my grades (if I don't, my mother unleashes her secret identity: a screaming banshee). My school also expects me to do a sport and actually be good at it. I mean, I can't help the fact that I was born with noodles for limbs! 

Well you get the point. Middle school was heaven, high school is hell. That's why my only source of comfort is my precious little ferret, Telki.

* * * * * *

"I'm home, Ma!" I shout. I slip off my shoes and launch my backpack at the couch. Finally, school is over until I go and restart the nightmare all over again tomorrow.

My mom's kneading dough with her hands in the kitchen. "Hello, Hana." she replies. Her voice is devoid of emotion. It's not a gloomy voice or happy voice. No, it's a voice that leaves her thoughts unbeknown to me. 

And that worries me.

I pause and wait for a couple seconds, expecting the inevitable. The corners of my lips start to rise.

"Oh, yeah, Hana. How'd the biology test go?" asks my mother, cheerfully, a stark to her previously unreadable demeanor.

My smile falls, and my mind goes blank. "Uhhhhh..." I nervously drawl, in hope she'll somehow forget the horrible question she just asked. "You know, I think I did well, but the grades haven't come back-- so there's not really any real way to know how I did, ya' know? So, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do homework!" I splutter.

Ma looks like she's about to say something, but I dash out of the living room to my bedroom and slam the door shut and leap onto my comfy bed, probably flopping around like flan that was harshly dropped from the sky. 

I let a weird, muffled groan into my pillow. "Telki, school was horrible today. And I did amazingly terrible on my biology test today, if that makes any sense... Ma's going to be furious when she finds out." I let out another groan.

"You sound like a regurgitated chicken!" squeaks a high-pithed voice from somewhere in my room,

I scream. What was that? I look around my room for the source of the voice. Clothes are strewn across the floor; my school books laying everywhere and Telki running around in her cage, crazyily. Yep, everything looks normal to me. 

"I'm really loosing it aren't I?" I comment to myself when seeing everything is normal 

"You really are." squeaks the voice again.

"What the fudge!" I yelp, jolting up, which ultimately led to me falling off my bed. I rub my butt.

"Did you just cuss, young lady?!?!" shrieks my mother from somewhere in the kitchen.

"What? No, I said fudge! Fudge is not the same thing as the F word! First of all, fudge tastes good, and I highly doubt the F word tastes good-"

"Hana, you're being a lil' creepy right now." comments the squeaky voice.

I hear the unusual squeak again and fall on my butt, once again might I add.

"Hana Ruby Johnson, you are being very inappropriate right now!" remarks my mother sternly (and loudly) from the kitchen. I swear, my mom's voice is so loud! It sounds like she's screaming into my ear... I need some insurance for my eardrums...

"Sorry, Ma! I'll stop." I apologize, turning my focus back to the location of the squeaky voice. 

I decide the best way to approach this situation is to simply ask the voice where it's coming from and what it is. "Um, hello?" I peep.

"Hi, Hana." replies the squeaky voice, befuddling me even more.

"How do you know my name!" I hiss, warily.

The voice makes a sharp, high-pitched noise, as if it's clicking its tongue in disapproval. "Hana, what kind of a question is that?" the voice scolds, disappointed, "I'm your adorable ferret, Telki. That's of course how I know your name."

I shriek.

"Hana, what in the world are you doing up there!" shouts my mother from downstairs.

"Honestly, I don't know..." I mutter back.

I don't know how exactly to explain the expression on my face... but, I basically look like a fly, with my eyes widened, staring off into space, and my mouth has widened to such a ginormous size that you could easily slide an overgrown peach into it with no difficulty. 

"Hana? That look is not very appealing. Let's just say it in no way can be described as ladylike." comments the squeaky voice, with a hint of disgust laced into the exterior of the comment.

"B-b-b-b wh-wha-whu-wha-" I stutter, at a loss for words.

To be continued...