Who you are

Awaken

It was a very sad day for Peter, its been 3 months since the death of the love of his life, Gwen Stacy by the hands of his own best friend who is the Green Goblin. He had the power and ability to save people but yet he could not save his own Girlfriend from dying. For 3 months, New York didnt have Spiderman, for 3 months people were losing hope cos they could not find or see their favorite web slinging hero.

Peter POV:

Avengers Tower

"Ugh..." i groaned as i sat up on my bed to check the time, i knew i could have just asked Friday but gah i'm too lazy to talk. 'Damn its already 1 in the afternoon...' i thought, as i saw the time on the clock thats in my wall, i decided to get up and get some food on my stomach, when i got out i saw my Mother; the black widow aka Natasha Romanoff. I love my Mom a lot like really i do... growing up with her really was the best thing in life... but losing Gwen made me fear that one day... i may end up losing my OWN MOTHER... i realised the worst part of my life is that all the people i'm close with ends up dying... "i know Mom is the Black Widow but damn it i CANT HELP BUT FEAR THAT ONE DAY I MAY LOSE HER TOO." I didnt know that i eventually actually said that OUT LOUD right in front of my MOTHER. 'Shet' i cursed in my head this time (i really dont want my Mother and Sister Wanda put soap in my mouth for saying a bad word) "gulp um... sorry about that Mom hehe..." i said to her nervously.

"Peter." Which is a tone that my mother uses when i did something that worries her (tbh i really hate seeing my mother worry cos it makes me feel like shit honestly) "sweetie whats wrong?" My mother asked me. "Mom... can we talk please..." i almost sounded like i was about to cry cos i felt broken saying it. When i looked up i saw my mothers worried face 'oh great NICE JOB PETE YOU MADE MOM WORRY GAH' i rambled in my head. "Of course honey come on lets talk in my room" as my mom said that, she and i went to her room and just lay down on her bed while i snuggle close to her. Ever since i was a kid, whenever i feel scared, i would always sleep in Mom's room and just allow myself to be wrapped in her warmth, it feels like... nothing in this world could ever harm, it feels like... this is the safest place i could ever be in. While Mom was hugging me, she decided to just hum a tune that i always love hearing when she is hugging me. I decided to break the ice and tell her

"Mom... i'm scared...." i told her in a broken voice. "What are you scared of my Little Spider?" My Mother asked, "i'm scared that one day... i may lose you in the same way i lost Gwen..." i couldnt take it anymore i just cried and hugged my Mom tighter, as if i was scared of losing her right on the spot. "I'm scared that one day, i will wake up and i will never see you again." I just continued to break down and sob in my mothers arms. "Ever since i lost Gwen, i felt like... like i was the worst... it was like i failed not only myself... but i failed you as well Mom... i felt that i did not deserve to be your son" as i said that my mother hugged me even tighter and i noticed... that mom was also crying her eyes were wide and shocked by what i told her... and she also looked hurt by what i said. But i felt that she wasnt hurt because i said that but she was hurt because her own baby boy, her own son is suffering and feeling that he doesnt deserve her. My mother immediately looked at me in the eye and said; "My son, first of all NEVER EVER SAY YOU DONT DESERVE ME! You are NOT A FAILURE to ME NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY. You are my SON whether you succeed or not, i will always ALWAYS LOVE YOU." My said while crying her heart out and pouring out all the love she had for me (to be honest now i really REALLY feel like crap) "When i first held you in my arms i was scared too..." my mother admitted to me. "I was afraid that i wouldnt be able to be the best Mom for you..." my mom was still crying while hugging and talking to me. "What kept you going Mom...?" I asked her in a soft voice.

"You..." my mom said with so much Love that my heart felt... so light and like... a new engine has restarted. "You were the reason that gave me the push to become a better Mom, to protect you... to love you just as any Mom would do for her children... i know i may not be perfect... but i'm damn well sure that i LOVE YOU VERY MUCH... always remember that sweetie... i love you always no matter what... whether in the good days... or bad days... you will ALWAYS be my SON" my mother told me while looking at my eyes straight on. "Thank you Mom... i love you so so sooooo much too... i'm sorry for making you worry" i told her with ALL THE LOVE i could give. "Good boy" my mother smiled at me. I just continued to hug her and eventually we both fell asleep as we were both tired from all that crying. As i was slowly about to sleep, my mother kissed my forehead and we both slept into slumber.

Next Day

Peter POV

After my talk with Mom, i figured that maybe i should try to do something in my lab... i know i have to get back to being Spiderman again soon... 'damn its been three months... i really hope none of the villains did anything stupid while i was on AWOL. As soon as i made into my personal lab (or spider lair as Tony and Clint love to call it) i was trying to rummage into a box that was filled with my old spider suit prototypes.

I saw a USB that says; "Gwen Stacy", as soon as i saw it, i couldnt helped but be surprised by seeing a USB that belonged to Gwen before she.... died. I tried shaking off my negative thoughts once again and decided to check what Gwen left in this USB. I plugged it in a hardware, as i opened the USB Files, i noticed that there were only two files, Note File and a Video file. The note file says, please read first. As i clicked the Note File; there was a short message from Gwen herself:

Peter... if you're reading this then that means... well i probably
died already lol... i know its not exactly funny but hey at least i wanna lighten things up right? Anyways; i'll keep this short. I wanna say i'm proud of you Pete, i know you and i had some troubles... but i want to let you know that i NEVER EVER Stopped loving you... we may have broke off... but that doesnt mean i stopped loving you... i was hoping that maybe after this whole mess... maybe we could talk it out again... but if you're reading this then... i'm sorry Pete... i hope that one day... you'll find another person who can love you... please dont bottle up all your feeling my love... never ever stop loving Pete cos i know you... you're the best person i ever met in my life. Before i end this message and for you to finally watch that damn video i placed in this USB file.

I love you so much Pete.

Always :)

Love,
Gwen ❤️

As i finished reading her message, i once again started crying... i always thought that she hated me but instead... i was an idiot... 'she has always loved me... she never stop...' as that thought continued to roam my mind i clicked the video file and saw that it was her graduation speech... which i was not able to attend due to a HYDRA mission that went wrong. 'She looks so beautiful' as i pressed Play, i thought of something, "KAREN would it be alright if you can play this video in my lab only." I asked my favorite A.i. "Of course Peter no problem" Karen said in a cheery voice which almost seemed impossible for an AI but hey i did get bitten by a spider and got powers so not really weird anymore. As i clicked play i was almost overwhelmed by hearing her voice again;

It's easy to feel hopeful on a beautiful day like today,
but there will be dark days ahead of us too,
and there'll be days where you feel all alone,
and that's when hope is needed most.

Keep it alive. No matter how buried it gets,
or lost you feel, you must promise me,
that you will hold on to hope and keep it alive.

We have to be greater than what we suffer.
My wish for you, is to become hope. People need that.

I know it feels like we're saying goodbye,
but we will carry a piece of each other into everything that we do next,
to remind us of who we are, and of who we're meant to be.

I've had a great four years with you,
and I'll miss you all very much

As Gwen was finishing her last part of the speech... i had a new sense of strength, belief and finally.... the WILL. I stood up, opened the chamber that was holding my suit. As i was looking at my suit, i finally realised what it means to be a hero, to remind me of who i am...

Who am i...

I'm Spiderman.