With Wings of Black (Kagehina/Asanoya)

Chapter 3

Asahi stared at the tiny libero from a corner he was sure Nishinoya wouldn't find him inside. Since he got to know about his secret, he saw him in a different light. Asahi honestly wondered about his own mental health, he was almost sure the entire last day hadn't been a dream because he kept asking Daichi for confirmation, but why did Nishinoya suddenly seem so... fascinating?

Nishinoya was still Nishinoya.

Still Asahi was confused on why he felt disappointed Noya never told him about his secret. He understood him completely, knew his reasons and would gave acted the same. But somehow, deep down in his heart, Asahi still wished he was the only one knowing about him.
Nishinoya kept chatting with Tanaka and looked just so innocent and cute and-

Asahi turned away, blood gushing into his cheeks. It wasn't appropriate to think like that about his comrade and he became painfully aware of the students around him. They could see him, judge him, laugh over him-
Because he loved Nishinoya. Motivating, wild and overwhelming Noya.
Asahi finally pried himself away and turned to leave as his eyes caught sight of the gloomy Kageyama towering over the vending machine. Milk so early in the morning?

Without a second thought, Asahi began to approach him. Only Hinata was the object of his mild violence and he was amazed Sugawara was more aggressive than him.
"Hey, Kageyama," Asahi greeted and his skin raised to goosebumps as the setter gave him a death-promising glare. Trying to swallow down the upcoming panic, Asahi fumbled with his words.
"W-wha-what is wrong? Y-you... you are moodier than usual."
"It's nothing."
Asahi watched him take a sip of his milk with his thoughts running wild.
"...it's okay, you know? Look at me, everyone is afraid of me and I still am more scared of others than the other way around," Asahi admitted embarassed to lull Kageyama into a sense of comfort and understandment, "It's okay to tell someone how you feel. I... I won't jab you in the side for negative thoughts like Suga or give you an encouraging slap on your back like Tanaka, but... I'm good at listening."

Kageyama hesitated for a while yet the ace saw his words moved something in him.
"...Hinata. It's Hinata, isn't it?" he muttered, giving Kageyama the last push over the edge. However, what he did not expect was the setter to direct a punch into the vending machine with a frustrated snarl.
"Damn it all...!!"
Asahi sat down at the wall and gestured Kageyama to move next to him, which he did, and eyed him carefully. The most important element in such conversations was patience. You couldn't just dig and dig and dig... sometimes it was necessary to listen and just keep quiet. Exactly what Asahi favored.
"I... I-I don't know what's wrong with me," the setter finally admitted, earning an acknowledging and encouraging nod.

"I... I always called him dumbass, teased him, scolded him, looked down on him... But... but we were a team. I am literally better in almost everything but still we kind of... dunno... It was special."
Kageyama breathed out a shaky sigh and flinched as he felt Asahi's hand on his shoulder. It felt warm, comfortable. Friends... did it feel like that to have friends?
"...now... what am I, a normal human, compared to him? A genius setter, who needs that in life? Hinata... Hinata will always stay something special. I thought we would rise and go down together... But at the end, I'll always be a human and Hinata some kind of mystical creature that fucking sparkles in the evening light-! I... I just know, I've become useless to him."

Asahi gasped and shook his head.
"That might seem like that. But you're wrong. Hinata always had those wings. And... if so, wouldn't he have surpassed you since long? You always were and will stay equal."
Kageyama started to chew on his lower lip, his shoulders shook in frustration- Asahi could read this without even properly looking. Kageyama was short before crying.
"But... B-but... Now that he trained with us, Hinata... Hinata became so strong. He doesn't add up to you and couldn't ever reach Tsukishima's blocks, but considering me..."
Kageyama's voice dropped into a whisper.
"Hinata doesn't need my tosses anymore, now that his aim became so much better. He could do the same Back Minus with Oikawa-san... I'm sure of it. All he needs is a fast toss, the rest is up to him. I always knew that but still- ...s-still! Now that he has wings, he is even more special than just a good spiker. Hinata... Hinata is going to leave me just like my old team."

There was the problem.

Asahi exhaled air he didn't remember holding in. Of all people, proud and former arrogant Kageyama was the one with self esteem problems?
"Hinata will never leave you. Yes, he might be special in his own way because of his wings, but... he won't leave you, Kageyama. I know for sure. It... it stings, right? That Hinata never told you about his secret, that you can't understand why you are disappointed that you weren't the first one who got to know it?"
Kageyama frowned and looked up to meet Asahi's eyes, his own blue ones trying to figure out how the fickle the ace found out.
"It's the same for me. With Nishinoya," Asahi finally admitted after a common silence for more than two minutes.

"I... I can't really decribe it. But now that I know his secret, he suddenly feels so special, so far away, so godalike and then there's me, scared of everything."
Kageyama's eyes lit up and he nodded exitedly.
"Y-yes! Just like that! Out of reach, better, special!"
"Like no human would ever deserve him. Like I don't deserve him.
"Exactly! I'm not good enough for Hinata anymore."
The two friends chuckled at their exchange of words and Kageyama tried to smile. It was horrifying to say the least but Asahi knew Kageyama wanted to be nice, so he just smiled back.

"I guess we found a reason to meet up again for this."
"But... Azumane-san, this stays between us, right?"
"O-of course! I would rather die than having everyone finding out," Asahi sweatdropped, the mental image of Tanaka doing the wiggly eyebrows at him too fresh and sore in his mind.