The Rose

Chapter 5

11 days

It took me 11 days to start living my life again. 11 days til I started school again. 11 days til I stated to eat regularly.
The first day was the easiest because i still didn't believe it. It still hadn't registered in my brain that my best friend was gone.
The second day it hit me like a bullet. Shot straight through me without a warning.
The third day I sat in my room and cried for hours.
The fourth and fifth days we all sat in silence with nothing to say. I tried to call Eve but I couldn't dial her number without bursting into tears. I tried watching TV but that didn't work either.
The next three days we had family and friends come over. They kept saying the same thing. "He's in a better place now". That was bullshit. He should be here, with me, with his family.
I started talking to Eve the next few days and preparing to go back to school.
     I was so lucky to have her in my life. I don't know what I would do without her. She was my sister. We had shared everything.
     It wasn't until hours before I got to school that I realized Harry was back. I had no idea what was going to happen or what he would say. Or what I would say. Maybe I'd get lucky and never see him for the rest of the semester.
The last time I cried was two days ago but the only reason that was possible was if I ran out of tears. So here we are. From this point on, I'm going to take it one day at a time. Slowly. Soon it'll feel normal again and I don't have a dread living anymore.
Nate is doing better than me, partly because his friends are keeping him busy. And that girl he's been hanging out with. I'm happy that he has people that care about him so much.
My mom is a completely different human. She literally doesn't do anything. She can't stop crying, she won't cook or clean, she won't eat or drink anything, and frankly I don't think she remembers most of what happened to begin with.
After that night, everything is blurry.

When Nate and I arrive at school we go our separate ways towards class. I get many stares as I approach my locker and Eve. Eve gives me a hug straight away and I swear it lasts at least 5 minutes. After a few moments of silence, I grab the necessary books from my locker and we start walking to our first class.
    Mr. Tanner was a nice man. Bald. Mid 50s. Glasses. He somehow always knew what you were thinking and how you were feeling. He never tried to put pressure on anyone. He was the happiest person ever. He made hilarious jokes and would spontaneously start singing sometimes. And always talked about his husband and their cats and dogs.
    I tried to keep my head down as we walked in, but it didn't help the fact that I could still feel everyone's eyes on me.
  "Great to have you back Miss Elizabeth."
  "Mmm thanks Mr. Tanner." I managed to squeak out.
I sat in my seat next to Evie and Mr. Tanner started the lesson.
  "As all of you should have read, the greatest rapper of all time is Eminem, of course, and some would consider his work poetry. But how different is Shakespeare from Eminem. Someone start a discussion."
  Just as he was finishing his sentence, the door swung open, and for a second a wave of panic struck me. Is it happening again. Am I reliving my nightmare over and over again.
   I looked at my fingers not daring to look up at what terrible news it could be this time.
  "Ah late again, Mr. Styles."
Styles.
   "Yes sir, you know me, always fashionably late"
That voice. I knew that voice. I could recognize that voice anywhere.
I looked up at be face to face with the one person I was not expecting to see. He started walking toward me but hadn't looked at me yet. It wasn't until he reached the empty desk in front of me, when his eyes met mine.
We didn't say anything. We couldn't. We just stared at each other.
  "Please take a seat, Harry." Mr. Tanner said.
Harry sat down but kept his body angled so he could still see me with the corner of his eye.  I couldn't stop staring at the back of his curly head.
    I didn't pay attention to anything Mr. Tanner said after that. And in a blink of an eye, class had ended.
   I started packing my things and so did Harry. He didn't it much faster than me and was gone before I had a chance to see him again.
   "Ah shit, totally forgot about Harry for a second" Eve unnecessarily commented.