ONE DAY [ MATHEW BARZAL ]

- eight hours -

Mathew holds my hand as we sit on the bench on the subway, our bodies pressed close together as more people push their way onto the train. We have a quiet conversation with each other, trying our best not to disturb the other people on the train with us. My hand is resting against his on his knee, his thumb gently tracing circles against my skin as he looks into my eyes while I speak to him. His eyes follow my every movement, sometimes slipping down to look at my lips but then they are back to my eyes again when he thinks I don't notice.

I do the same with him. When he talks, I just stare into those beautiful dark eyes that makes my stomach tingle with butterflies, but every so often my eyes will move down to his plump lips and beg for him to kiss me, to let me feel him against me. I know we both want to kiss each other so bad, it is evident in everything we do and say, but when will either of us make the first move? I hope it is soon because I may go insane with the pure need to feel his skin against mine again.

Mathew pokes my cheek to get me to look at him, a silly smile playing on his lips when I realise he caught me staring at his lips. "Oh Reid, are dreaming of kissing me again?" He chuckles softly, running his knuckles across my cheeks.

I flush a violet shade of red when he speaks those words. No matter how many times I try to act confident and show him that his words have no effect on me, it always fails and I am once again at his mercy. "Can that big head of yours get any bigger?" I reply with a smile growing on my lips. Mathew chuckles at my words, his shoulders shaking and his eyes closing as he does. It makes me feel warm inside at his reaction, I am glad we can joke with each other like the way we do. I don't know how I would have felt if Mathew didn't have a sense of humour, but he does and I am thankful for that because he has me chuckling and laughing all the time.

"You'd be surprised." He replies leaning his chin atop of my head. Involuntarily, I turn myself into him, my arms moving around his waist and holding his body against mine. I am becoming much more comfortable around him and I know Mathew can sense it, he too is letting his guard down inch by inch and we are becoming less strangers and more comfortable with each other.

I know the moment I leave for England I will never have an experience like this again. What Mathew is doing, what I am feeling for him, I don't think I will ever have this again with any man who may come into my life. Maybe Mathew is the soulmate of mine that everyone seems to talk about, maybe that is the reason why I am so drawn to him and wanting so much more from him. But what happens when that plane takes off and I am in a different country than him, will whatever we have stay with us? Will we always find our way back to each other? I don't know and that is scary, the unknown.

"How long until your stop?" I mumble into his chest, loud enough for him to hear it over the hub of the people around us.

"Uh, a couple more stops. I'll let you know when we're almost there." Mathew tells running his hand up and down my arm. I nod in understanding, my body sinking into his and before I know it, my eyes are closed and I am asleep against his chest. I hold onto him tightly as I sleep, my dreams telling me that I have made Mathew up, that he is just a figment of my imagination because I so long to have a relationship with someone, to feel whatever it is that my friends and family talk so much about.

I don't know what I would do if I am to wake up and find that Mathew is no where, that I did in fact make him up and that I am alone forever. I don't think I could stomach it. But I feel him against me as I sleep, I feel his warmth, I feel his chest rising and falling with each breath he takes, I feel his heart beating against me. He is real, Mathew is real, and he is here beside me.