Single and Seeking Barson story

Chapter 6

Olivia Benson walked into her apartment carrying a box of take-out., and feeling relived it was once again Friday. She wished crime could take a holiday. She and her squad took countless statements this week. It was the first week of Spring-break for many schools. She called Nicole three times with no response. DR. Taylor wasn't giving up. He called twice to ask her out again. She was so busy she didn't have time to pick up the phone, and she didn't want to until she knew what to say to him. "Noah mommy's home." She said as she closed the front door.
"Hi Liv." Lucy said walking quickly from Noah's bedroom to the living area with Noah in her arm. "How are you?"
"How's my boy? Olivia said smiling at her son. He was dressed in yellow elephant print pajamas.
"He was feeling pretty good today."
"Then I'm good." Olivia answered quickly. "How are you?"
"Good". Lucy answered. "You need me to help you with the box?"
"No, I got it." Olivia said walking over to her kitchen counter and placing the box down. She walked over to Lucy and took Noah from her arms.
"I gave him, his ear drops and his dinner. He ate a little. He did have a slight fever for about an hour, but it's gone now. He still needs his bedtime story, and a bath."
"Thank-you so much for your help Lucy. I'll do that. You can go, I know you have a lot to do."
"Are you sure?" I can stay?"
"That's ok, I got it. Do you need anything?"
"No. Thanks Liv. Call if you need me. Bye Noah. Lucy said as she left the apartment.
"Be safe." Olivia called as she watched Lucy leave. Olivia locked the front door, and walked to the bathroom with her son in her arms. He looked so tired. She quickly gave him a cool bath, and changed him into green pajamas with puppies on them. She read him The Poky Little Puppy by Janette Sebring Lowery. She sang him to sleep with the song All The Pretty Little Horses. She gently put him in his bed and kissed his forehead. She shut the light and walked quietly back to her living area. Spending time with Noah helped her, but as soon as he was asleep her mind began to spin again. A part of her wished her son was still awake. She graded her cordless phone, and dialed. The phone rang twice before it was answered.
"Hello."
"Barba, listen I stopped by that brand new sandwich shop, and picked up some tuna. You want to come over and share it with me? I don't want it to go to waste." "I'll be there in about forty-five minutes. Is that ok?""Sure." She answered. She hung up the phone._____________________________________________________________________   Olivia walked into her bedroom to grab some clothes, and then into her bathroom for a much needed shower. The shower took twenty-five minutes. She dressed quickly in dark blue jeans. For her top she chose an olive green shirt with medium length sleeves, and a crewneck line. She put on a pair of white flats. She didn't want to look like a mess, and she didn't want to look too dressed up. She put on very subtle make-up. She walked out to the kitchen to get the food ready. She had just finished when she heard a soft knock at the door.
"Liv It's me." Barba said. She opened the door quickly. "
Hey." He said. His voice came out light and comforting. He also wore dark blue jeans. He had on a beige shirt. She was not used to him looking so casual and calm. She gave him a half smile.
"Hey."She said. She stepped aside slowly, and he entered quickly. He was carrying a white shopping bag. "Barba did you bring something?"
"I brought some things. Why do you think it took me forty-five minutes to get here?"
"You didn't have to bring anything?"
"Don't worry about it. Rafael Barba doesn't go anywhere empty-handed." He reached into the bag, and pulled out a gray stuffed elephant. "This is for Noah." "That's so sweet, you really didn't have to." She took the stuffed toy for her son.
"Shh." Barba reached back into the white shopping bag, and pulled out a brown bag, "This is for you."
"Barba you didn't have to bring me anything. I didn't even cook. It's take-out. Come to think of it, it's lucky for you it's take-out. I'm sure it's better than my cooking."
"Liv, put Eddie, the elephant down, and take a look at what I got you." She smiled, walked a few feet, and placed Eddie on top of the toy-box. She walked over to Barba, and slowly took the brown bag from her friend's hand. She walked to her couch. She reached into the bag. Barba watched her with delight. She pulled out a big Hershey bar, then some expensive coffee, and then two Gardenia-scented candles.
"You didn't have do this. It's not my birthday."
"It was the best I could do under such short notice." Barba said, He silently promised himself next time he had this kind of opportunity with her, he would do much better. He watched as she put most of the stuff back in the bag. She grabbed the Hershey bar, and coffee, and quickly put them away in her small kitchen.
"Barba, it's too much, she said walking back into the living area, and standing across from him.
"No, it's not." She smiled at him. "Come on, I see you have everything set up, let's eat, I'm staving." She followed him to her table. He sat across from her, and enjoyed seeing her in casual clothing. Her dark brown hair was pulled back, but some strands framed her face.
"Barba, are you ok?" He heard her say. He wondered how long he was staring. He blinked. Olivia held a plate out to him, so that he could pick a sandwich.
"Fine."" He grabbed a tuna sandwich. It was true that he was hungry for food, but he was not here for take-out tuna sandwiches. He was here for her, and for her company. She lowed the plate, put it down, and took her sandwich. She always thought of others first. He loved her thoughtfulness, and compassion, but Olivia Benson needed to give herself a break once and a awhile. He watched as she took a bite of food, and a sip of her strawberry smoothie.
"As well as I know you, you never cease to surprise me. I never pegged you for the smoothie type"
"I don't drink them often, I felt like I needed it, and I can't remember the last time I had a tuna sandwich." She said. Barba took a bite of his sandwich and a sip of his drink. It was not a strawberry smoothie, it was a pineapple one. During a case years ago, Olivia had tracked him down at Forlini's. That night along with his scotch, he ordered dinner, and a fruit platter that included pineapple. He remembered because it was the first time Olivia had a drink other then coffee with him. He tapped the stool next to him, and told her to sit, drink, and smile. After the words escaped his mouth, she flashed him a look. he tried to read.
"Do me a favor?" He said smiling.
"What?" Olivia asked putting her sandwich down, and meeting his eyes."Next time you need a sidebar please say so."
"What are you talking about?" She asked confused.
"You made it sound like the sandwich shop gave you too much food, but you planned this."
"What gave it away?" She asked knowing the answer already.
"You know I love pineapple. You ordered me a pineapple smoothie."
"Guilty, but it was last minute. I had no energy to cook tonight. I just feel drained, so when I went to the sandwich shop, I ordered extra. I figured you didn't eat yet. Honestly, I didn't think I needed a sidebar, but I was wrong." Barba smiled and finished his sandwich.
"How much did you pay for this?"
"I'm not telling you, you'll want to pay for it."
"Fair enough. You need to eat better Liv. My guess is you paid a small fortune for this tuna, this tuna that someone took out of a can, and slapped on a piece of bread." He laughed lightly.
"Sorry, everything in this city is overpriced." You know that."
"I know, don't be sorry, I needed to eat, and I need the company." Olivia let out a quick comforting laugh, he loved her laugh, especially that laugh. Olivia had many laughs and smiles. "You can tell me anything Liv. What's up? Talk to me."
"I didn't know it, but I've needed a sidebar since our meeting with Nicole Price."
"That's understandable."
"You know what I couldn't stand when I first started working in this unit. Whenever I walked onto a crime scene other officers from other units, usually the homicide unit, would say things like It's the panty police It's the sex unit. What's wrong with you people? Why did you volunteer for this? Why do you chose to deal with perverts? Then they would look at me, sometimes up and down, and I knew they were thinking What kind of woman are you? I got used to it, but it hasn't changed much after all these years. It still happens. I know you probably think I should have said something to Nicole. What could I say? I am Lieutenant Olivia Benson, before that Sargent, Olivia Benson, and before that, and for a very long time Detective Olivia Benson . My heart goes out to Nicole it really does, but when she was saying these things I wanted to yell at her. You have no idea who I am, you have no idea what I've been through in life. I wanted to scream at her Barba . I wanted to scream, run out of the room, get down on a floor and cry Don't worry I won't cry, I don't cry in front of anyone."
"Liv. you can cry on front of me. I would never, I could never think less of you. You are so strong, no tears can change that. Letting someone see you cry doesn't change how strong you are. I know you're Lieutenant Olivia Benson, but you are also Olivia Benson, Liv, there are so many sides to you, you are more than a cop, It's ok to admit when things get to you."
"People see Olivia Benson, the cop, and they assume they know everything about me. People think because I'm tough, I have no feelings or because I work in sex crimes I'm easy or cold. I love my job. I'm good at it. I try to help people, but being in this unit, doing what I do doesn't turn me on."
"Liv, I know that! "
"So many people see Lieutenant Benson, I don't let many see Olivia."
"I've noticed." Barba said suddenly feeling honored.
"Don't worry about the judgments of people who don't know you."
"I usually don't" She answered softly.
"But?""Sometimes... every once in awhile this work gets to me. Nicole got to me Barba, I couldn't say anything to defend myself because she's a victim, a big part of my job is to be there for her, to support her." If she were a perp, I would have acted differently."
"I know, I've seen you in interrogation."
Olivia smiled at her friend. "It would have been easier for me if Nicole was a perp."
"Liv", growing up some people thought I would amount to nothing. They thought If I was lucky I'd sell drugs on a street corner. I was a petty poor kid in a rough neighborhood without a good male role model. I have a wonderful mother, but she worked all the time in a field that doesn't pay much. A lot of her salary went to paying the Catholic school I attended. She makes more money now than she ever did when I was a kid. I told you before I was never an athlete. I proved these people wrong Liv, I didn't care what they thought. I worked hard and got into Harvard Law School based on my hard work and brains. My mother raised me well, I cared what she thought because she knew me, and was in my corner. She still is."
"Don't forget you finished first in your class counselor."
"Oh, I never do.My point is, don't let the negative judgments of strangers get to you, and if you feel that happening call me."
"You'll give me a pep talk?" Olivia said laughing.
"Yes, you're too hard on yourself Liv."
"You're a wise man Barba, and for the record in no universe would you have ended up selling drugs. I know you, you always find a way to beat the odds. The more difficult the odds the harder you work, and no matter what that would never change. That will never change."
"Thank-you, that means a lot coming from you Liv. I think we're a lot alike." Olivia smiled, and there was a long moment of silence before Barba spoke again. "Did I make you feel any better?"
"Yes," She answered.
"Anything else bothering you, you want to talk about?"
"Yes, but it deals with Nicole's case, and I'm so tied my eyes are closing. Can we save it for another sidebar?"
"Only if that sidebar is very soon."
"You've got a deal Barba." Olivia said, getting up from her dinning chair. Barba followed.
"I should go, and let you get some sleep. You want me to clean up?"
"No, I'm just going to throw everything into a garbage bag." Olivia answered She followed her friend to the front door. In truth Barba hated to go, he needed the sidebar as much as she did. It helped, and he didn't want it to end. Lucky for him Olivia agreed to another one very soon. He wanted to schedule another one right now.
"Thank-you for coming to me tonight, Noah's sleeping and I have to keep an extra eye on him, so there was no way I could have met you anywhere tonight." Olivia unlocked the door, and opened it, so that her friend could exit.
Barba smiled. "Thank-you for inviting me here." She stood inches from him, he hugged her, and quickly kissed both of her cheeks before walking into the hallway outside her apartment.
"Barba,, I like to know that people got home safe. Can you do me another favor? Can you call my cell phone when you get home?".
"I will. Liv, that's not a favor."
"It will make me feel better, I don't want to worry all night, I'm already worrying about Noah all night."
"I will call Liv, I just don't see it as a favor."