Single and Seeking Barson story

Chapter 8

Rafael Barba entered the almost empty squad room much later than usual. It was Monday at exactly 8PM. Over the weekend, he called Olivia four times. Olivia picked up twice each time sounding upset, but he had no idea why. She told him she was not upset with him, both calls were less than five minutes. It was very noisy in the background. On Sunday afternoon he went to check on Olivia and Noah, but they weren't home. On Sunday night at 8:30, Rafael got a text from Olivia.
Raffa,I'm sorry we haven't talked much since Friday. I'm fine. I thought I would sit in the gallery of the courtroom Monday afternoon, but I can't. Don't worry I'll send Rollins. Talk to you soon, Sleep well Raffa.
Barba saw Rollins and Carisi get up from their desks at the same time. He could tell that they were ready to go home. He quickly walked up to them. "Rollins Carisi Where's Liv? What's going on?""Liv's here," Rollins answered quickly. "She's in her office. She didn't make it to court this afternoon, because Noah didn't make it out of the hospital until 4.."
"Wait. Noah was in the hospital?" Barba's green eyes filled with a mixture of worry for Noah and hurt because Olivia didn't tell him about this hospital visit.
"Yeah" Rollins answered. "He was in from early Saturday morning to this afternoon."
"She didn't say anything about it until this morning, when she called Fin to let him know she was running late today." Carisi said, noticing the distressed look on Barba's face. Barba quickly walked toward Olivia's office.
"Good night." Rollins called as she and Carisi left the station.
Barba reached Olivia's closed office door, and knocked. "Liv, open the door please."
Quickly,the door opened, and Barba was face to face with a surprised Olivia. Her beautiful brown eyes went wide at the sight of him. "Barba what are you doing here at this hour?" He silently walked into her office, and she stepped back to give him and herself more space. She didn't close the door. She knew at this point they were the only two people in the building.
"Noah was in the hospital? Why didn't you tell me?" Olivia felt caught off guard, Barba sounded hurt and disappointed. He used that same tone when he had discovered she was dating Ed Tucker, only then his words were "When were you gonna to tell me?" Soon after that her relationship with Tucker ended.
"I didn't want to worry you."
"I see, so you were going to keep this bit of information to yourself."
"I was going to tell you."
"When?"
"When things were settled." Olivia sighed before speaking again. "I didn't want to worry you."
"You didn't want to worry me? Well I got l news for you,I was worried for days. I'm still worried Liv."
"I'm sorry." She said. Rafael nodded, and she was suddenly filled with relief. She also knew this conversation was not over. "Who told you? Rollins? Carisi?"
"Both of them. It doesn't matter, you should have told me. I knew you were upset. What happened to Noah?"
"After you called to let me know you got home, I fell asleep, I was asleep no more than ten minutes when he started crying. I picked him up, and he was burning up, I put him in a cold bath, called the doctor, and rushed to the hospital. When we got there, his fever was almost 105. All I could do was wait."
"So you waited in the hospital all by yourself." He said gently "Liv, you should have called me. I would have waited with you. I could've been there for you."
"I didn't want to worry you." She repeated.
"Please, don't give me that."
"Barba, there was nothing you could have done. Why should we both worry. I was worried enough for the both of us."
Barba rolled his eyes."You shouldn't have been alone Liv, and you didn't have to be."
"This situation was much too big for a sidebar. Don't you think?"
"No!" he answered quickly, "That's the point of the sidebar Liv." That's why I suggested having more of them, more often. We work well together, but we don't need a work related emergency to socialize. I'm not just someone you work with. You're not just someone I work with."
"I know", there was a long pause before she spoke again. "The truth is" She said slowly. "You're one of my favorite people Rafael Barba." He was stunned, overjoyed, and so honored by her words. He pictured her waiting for a doctor to tell her the condition of her beloved son, and his heart broke. He pictured her pacing, her heart gripped with overwhelming fear. This incredible woman standing inches from him, who was there for everyone else thought she had to endure everything in life alone.
"Liv", he said "Never try to spare me again. You have no idea how much I worry when you stop talking. Liv, please don't ever stop talking to me,"
"I wanted you there. I almost called you, I had to turn my phone off to stop myself. It was late, I honestly didn't want to bother you, I didn't want you to worry like I was. I was so scared, he was so hot. Dr. Taylor found strep. He came out to the waiting room to tell me Noah was going to be fine, but he wanted to keep an eye on him. I had to wait at least another fifteen minutes before I was able to see him, and when I did,he was so pale." Her voice cracked. "I could have lost him Raffa, I could have lost my son." The tears Olivia Benson had been fighting so hard burst out. Rafael threw his arms around her, and pulled her close to him. Her body shook, as she sobbed. He heard her take a deep breath. Her cries became quiet, she was trying to stop her tears.
"It's ok, Liv, let it out. let it all out. You've been holding them back way too long. You don't have to stop until you're ready. I'm here." Olivia's sobs became louder. He held her tightly, She was sure if he wasn't there, the force of her cries would make her fall to the ground. She felt him move, but he wasn't moving away. He was rocking her, almost dancing with her. "Don't hold back your tears for me Liv." He whispered. Rafael Barba had more questions for his best friend, he always did, but right now those questions could wait. Right now, she needed him to hold her up while her tears flowed.